Fri | Dec 15, 2017

Styrofoam versus fine china

Published:Monday | December 4, 2017 | 12:00 AM

In the hot seat for this week, is the debate of styrofoam versus fine china. In this heated match-up, a certain media personality went to bat for the women, creating controversy on social media, when she stated that women cooking for men should be a luxury earned, not a necessity. She also declared that some male counterparts, specifically boyfriends, should eat out of styrofoam until they become husbands - only then are they served on fine china.

For some women, this was a clear home run. But the opposing team has already initiated an appeal. Why are we not surprised? After all, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, right? While it could be argued that many missed her point, taking the plate theory literally, let's play ball and address what might constitute styrofoam behaviour:

 

Typical Styrofoam 

Always occupied

 

When you're with him, he's always on the phone either texting or talking. And the moment you're not around, you can never get him. Then to add insult to injury, he rarely returns your calls or messages. And when he does, it's extremely delayed. That's a classic wanderer who should be rewarded with styrofoam.

 

Time is an issue

 

If he's forever making time for others - work, family, or friends, but never has enough time for you. It means you're not high on his priority list. You know what that means - break out the styrofoam.

 

Never lending a helping hand

 

What to expect - expectations can make or break any relationship. When he expects you to assist him with just about everything, like cook, wash, clean, without doing anything for you in return, what time is it? Time to break out that styrofoam.

 

Sexual healing

 

Now there's nothing wrong with your man giving you some sexual healing. But if that's all he's giving you, if there's no wining, or fine dining, only bumping and grinding, then you definitely have a problem. You're having a booty call. You need to make styrofoam his best friend and check to see if he will ever be able to measure up to fine china.

 

Emotionally unavailable

 

Here's a tricky one. He can actually confuse you because he's usually an absolutely sweetheart. Kind, loyal, and sentimental. There's just one catch - he's emotionally unavailable. Maybe he chooses to be this way because of his past, or he might feel that this is the right option for him at this current juncture. You're not with the commitment? He's not worth the fine china.

 

Secrets

 

No one likes secrets, especially girlfriends. So if you've caught your boyfriend lying over and over again, my advice would be to leave. Once a liar, always a liar. Love can sometimes trump logic, don't reward his bad behaviour with fine china. He's one styrofoam away from hurting you again anyway.

 

Infidelity

 

There's lying and then there's cheating. He claims to love you, but for whatever reason, he can't seem to keep the snake in his pants. You may be forgiving, but don't you let him forget it. If he was getting fine china, downsize his meals to styrofoam and see what happens.

 

Blame Game

 

Does your boyfriend blame you for just about every little or grand thing that happens to him? He might be nice on the outside, but when the going gets tough, he gets to blaming you. Don't justify that by serving him on fine china. You deserve more - not him.

 

Control

 

To some boys, posing as men, relationships are just a game to see who can be in control. He may appear as the nicest boyfriend in front of all your family and friends, but behind closed doors, he wants to know your every move and isolate you from your family and friends so that he can have the final say. He may even resort to abuse, physical and emotional, to get his own way. I would highly recommend that you Usain Bolt your way right out of that relationship. But, if you do decide to remain with him, have control over the cooking - stage your own silent protest by hiding those good plates and serving up the styrofoam. Save that special part of you for someone who deserves it.

 

Long distance relationship

 

Now, I'm not talking about the ones across parishes, cities, states, or oceans. I'm talking about those relationships going on for a long period of time, seemingly going the distance without actually going anywhere. Every relationship needs a goal. This goal should be discussed. You can't be running the race of love and not have a finish line. So, if you feel that time is being wasted, but for whatever reason, you're still holding on, don't break out the fine china just yet. If you see him trying, and you know the love is real, maybe he can be upgraded from styrofoam to ceramic plates. But save your finest china for when he deserves it. He might be saving your ring for when he realises you're worth it.

krysta.anderson@gleanerjm.com