Kelly's World | Wedding inna December? Fi wha?
Why would you get married in December?
I mean, I'm not a big fan of how some people make big fusses over weddings, like they are matters of life and death (they aren't).
But I'm especially not crazy about weddings during the last month of the year, and especially not at Christmas.
People have nuff tings a do inna December areddi. Dem haffi a buy gift, dem haffi a decorate house, dem haffi do more cooking than usual.
Even before the Christmas period rolls around, there is the high possibility that family members from overseas might be coming to stay at the house.
Plus, the children will soon be out of school so the parents have to find something to do with them (that sound bad but yuh know wha mi mean).
December is a good time for some people to clear out their homes of clutter, and to do some well-needed cleaning.
So dem already haffi put in extra work And then on top of all that, they have to prepare for your wedding. No man, you must have a conscience.
Now don't be fooled. Long gone are the days when you simply just showed up for a nuptials.
No sah, especially if a your good good fren or a close family member a get married, yuh betta believe yuh have nuff work fi do.
In some way, shape or form you shall be involved in the build-up, execution and aftermath of the funeral, er, I mean wedding.
There will be the trips to every entity or individual supplying something for the wedding, from the florist to the caterer.
Don't get me started on finalising the payments of the photographer, the video man, the musicians and everyone else who will be helping to either capture or enhance the occasion.
And no matter how long in advance the planning started for the wedding, mi guarantee the last few days are more hectic than the Christmas Eve crowd at Grand Market.
Some people, depending on their work schedule, actually might get time in December to relax.
But can they? No, dem haffi a run up and dung wid you and your bae because unnu couldn't wait 'til January fi throw bouquet.
Even di pickney dem taking part in the wedding nuh too happy enuh. Don't believe me? Think bout it.
Children, especially these nowadays one dem, love siddung and play game a dem yard.
When you have dem up and about a look frock and suit, just so they can sit inna di church and dead fi hungry while dem waiting fi di bride, how do you think they're going to feel?
And by the way, if your wedding happens closer to Christmas, a how much gift yuh expect fi get?
I hope you not expecting no wedding present and Christmas present same time, because dat not happening! One gift unnu a get.
So to anyone I know who saying "I do" in Decembers to come, and were planning on inviting me, just remember.
You will be getting a mixture of Oscar The Grouch and The Grinch. You've been warned.
Link me at firstname.lastname@example.org