Sat | Mar 23, 2019

New Year, New Man

Published:Monday | January 1, 2018 | 12:00 AM

There's no escaping 2018: it's here in all its glory. And since they say the new year is all about new beginnings, why not look into the possibility of receiving a new male applicant for your love department?

The lifelong spot has probably been vacant for some time now. Or you might have recently received a resignation letter.

Getting over your ex

In order to get yourself a new and exciting man, you first have to get over the ex. Why hold on to a bicycle, lada, a buggy, or a bread van, when you could tap into the luxury of cruising in a Benz, a Bimmer, or Lamborghin? Here are a few tips on how to get over him.

Go Cold Turkey

If you want to be done and over him, for good, you're going to have to cut all ties. That means no communication with him or anyone directly associated with him. No connection via social media or otherwise and this is important, especially at this crucial point, no memorabilia that reminds you of him. In time, once you're over him enough to be just friends, you can reintroduce him to yourself little by little in a new, amicable light. Nothing stops you from really moving to the new more than lingering on the old.

Time and space

Take some time and make some space for you. Now would be a good time to reflect on what might have gone wrong, after all, there are two sides to every story. Even soldiers return home from wars and regroup before going on to another tour. Heal your wounds from the battle of love so that you can go back out into the world stronger than ever.

Girls' Night Out

After a while, the sobbing and the moping around gets old (if you're not crying, after a break-up would be a good time to let those tears flow). You need a distraction. Gather a few of your girls and do something you love to do but haven't done in a while, like dancing or even a paint and sip. It's crucial that the activity be an ex-boyfriend-free zone, no need to be seeing or thinking about him at this point. It's time for someone new.

Getting a new man

The jury is still out on this one. How do you really go about getting a new man in your life? There's no one formula, but see if these pointers can assist.


Engaging in a night out returns with a vengeance. It could be with your girls, a long-time friend, or even family members. All that matters is that you're out and about, dressed to impress, because you won't find Mr Prince Charming and he definitely won't find you if you're home on your couch.

Common ground

Maybe it hadn't worked out with your previous boyfriend because you didn't have much in common. So for this year, find someone you share more things in common with. If you're interested in fitness, ensure that he's willing to run, jump, squat, and lift all in the name of love.

How to shape up your current man into your new man

Individual lives

When people get into a relationship, they tend to think like a couple and neglect the individual. Get active outside of the relationship with hobbies you both used to like or like. If he's into sports, encourage him to have a games night to watch a game with his friends while you disappear with your girls. Missing each other will surely splash some sparkle back into the union.

Communicate and operate

You should always be able to tell your man how you feel. Maybe he feels the same way you do, too. Lack of communication will drive a wedge between you both but too much will suffocate him or you. Find that balance. Then operate on adding spice by being naughtier than nice, just to see if the routine of monogamy is creating monotony in your relationship. Switch on the sultry, make him your dinner and dessert, tease and please, and don't be afraid to get dirty, giving into his every need whenever, wherever, and however. Your old man would become as good as new in no time.

Added bonus ...

If he hasn't been paying you much mind, level the playing field by getting him a little jealous. If the old him is still there somewhere, he'll react accordingly and then you act on that.