Tue | Jan 22, 2019

Single But Iffy to Mingle: Pick Your Potion

Published:Monday | February 19, 2018 | 12:00 AM

"Hi. My name is Krysta Anderson and I'm single." That's the first step to rehabilitation, right? Admitting the reality that is placed before you. In order to get to this point, I had to acknowledge and come to grips with my demise.

The untimely 'passing' of the union brought about five stages of grief.

Denial. This is not happening, we're just going through a rough patch right now, we'll get over it soon. Anger. Why won't he listen to me? Why does he irritate me so easily? What's really going on? Bargaining. Maybe we can go to couple's counselling and that will fix things. But then we end up playing the blame game. And when you've tried everything and nothing works, depression seeps in - the hardest stage of them all. Sleepless nights, loss of appetite, you spend all that time feeling sorry for yourself, drowning all your sorrows in sad music and sappy movies, and indulge in guilty pleasures. But then the final step hits you. Acceptance. It just wasn't meant to be.

Now that I'm on the road to recovery and have accepted my fate, I've been crossing over to the single lane. That has been easier said than done, because what was once for two is now for one. Life is, however, far too short to be crying over spilled milk. Since my re-entry, however, I've noticed that the world has changed. Or maybe I'm the one who is different. It's for that reason that I'm single but iffy to mingle.


Pick your potion


So, there is an upside to being single: entertaining all this extra attention. There are some oh-so-fine men out there! And flirting is always welcome - if you can keep up. But call me old-fashioned, traditional, or whatever you might, but I'm of the view that if a man is interested in a woman (well, me - I can't speak for another woman) an invitation to his house after hours cannot be the ideal first date. How does it work exactly? Man meets woman, man searches for woman's reaction to certain well-placed suggestions and if no resistance is given, we just run over to your headquarters? Has the concept of dating truly become extinct?

My expectation is that if he's feeling my vibe, he would at least try to know me a little better, working his way up to that point, instead of trying to hit the nail on the head in just one go. I'm not that kind of thirsty. Instead, let's level the playing field and find a middle ground: a place of your choosing, or mine, where we can relax from a hard day, have a little conversation, talk about our passions - see if you're a better comedian than me (that's impossible by the way), figure out what makes each other tick, and discover if there's any real chemistry.

I'm flexible - don't get any wild ideas just yet. By that, I mean, I'll enjoy your company during sips of Moscato, but I can also appreciate chatting it up over a cold beer. So pick your potion, and cast your lust or love spell. That may actually work in your favour and get you to your destination way faster than you think.