Sun | Feb 23, 2020

Is that it? Small experiences

Published:Monday | August 27, 2018 | 12:00 AM

Does size really matter? That's a popular question asked among both sexes. And the jury is still out on that final verdict. But let's face facts: women enjoy the thrill of being between silk sheets just as much as men do. And while both parties are always ready to rumble, sometimes the male boxer may come up a little short in trying to land the winning punch.

Some opponents will just roll with it, and others will have no choice but to call in the referee to end the bout. "Is that it?" is the refrain often sung by disappointed women who encounter small experiences with minor manhoods.

In her short tails report, Moya Williams* told Flair Magazine that while at university her beau was on the heavy side but that didn't deter her from liking him. What did affect their relationship was another size issue. "I expected his member to be small, but this was tiny," the 28-year-old said.

This battle of the sexes went on for a while until, Williams said, they conceded defeat and settled for alternative ways of satisfying each other.

"Once we realised what worked, it was great!" she said.

According to clinical psychologist Kamala McWhinney, women have different sensitivities in different areas of the vaginal cavity, and so some are about size while others are about how a man uses his tool.




"It may boil down to how well a woman knows her body and how much the man arouses her in other ways. But for many women, size matters, even if it is based on socialisation, because the truth is, some men don't use their size to the best of their abilities or they decide to ignore other pleasuring techniques."

Ignoring other techniques, she says, is far from blissful and will elicit laughter from their female counterpart. Honesty is the best policy: it's better for men to be upfront about their shortcoming beforehand rather than oversell themselves prior to the main event.

She pointed out, however, that while men may face difficulty in bringing women to their state of euphoria, women should be informed on their own satiable and insatiable desires, and be sensitive to a man's inexperience.

"Men should be versed in satisfying a woman, especially his, with and without penetration. And women should know their bodies as well and know what works and be sensitive to their man. Some women need information, too, since they may watch porn and just assume what average size is, not knowing the reality out there."

This skewed mindset, she said, might be coming from a cultural standpoint, noting that Jamaicans still don't talk enough about sex with their partners. "Women in particular can be timid to ask for what they want or insist on it. That's part of the issue. We're a very sexual culture that doesn't discuss it openly without shame and guilt," she added.

One of the ways a woman can get to know herself on a more intimate level is through self-pleasure. Some women may be opposed to that on religious grounds or preference, since it's a delicate issue, McWhinney said, but if a woman masturbates, she will get to know her body better and figure what works for her. This will allow her to better direct her partner in case of small package and just generally speaking. "Also, mutual masturbation or watching your partner while they do it can be incredibly sexy for the parties involved, so there's also that area of pleasure to tap into."