Mon | Oct 15, 2018

Single but Iffy to Mingle: Timing is everything

Published:Monday | September 17, 2018 | 12:00 AM
A silhouetted figure watches the rising super blue moon at strawberry fields together on January 30, 2018 Flair St. Mary rural issue.

They say, "Timing is everything." Just how important is that to the dating world? Very!

Welcome to 'Single but Iffy to Mingle'. Last week was quite the steamer when I shared stories of my secret kryptonites. This week, I'm tackling the 'meet' of the matter and the timing of it all.

So, am I the only one having issues joining the dating game? It's already hard enough putting yourself out there, out of sheer fear of rejection or disconnection. But just when I muster up the courage and say to myself, "Yes, I'm ready to get out there," life has this funny little way of getting in the way. And I'm far from amused. Either something comes up on the man's end (no pun intended) or I can't make it.

 

Typical Work Schedule

 

Now, I know what you might be thinking: he can't find the time for you then he isn't the one for you. But then, who am I to jump to that conclusion when I'm sailing in a similar ship? I don't have the typical work schedule, so if I find a potential partner in a nine-to-fiver, it is almost impossible for him to understand when I say I'm busy that evening or on that weekend. That has happened more times than I can count, with a few stating that if I can't find the time now, then I never will. That's a turn-off for me, really. I'm only human and can't be at your beck and call whenever you need me. You're getting to know me, you will have to know my schedule, too, so that you can work your way around it and eventually in it. The undercurrent caused and the rift which begins far earlier than any actual relationship are truly not worth the time.

The solution might be to date a man who reflects a relatable attitude to work, right? Well, I might be jumping out of the frying pan and right into blazing fire. That fix won't necessarily fly as far as making a connection is concerned because you will find that they just can't find the time. I've had dates rescheduled due to changes in work shifts or family issues. And though I was disappointed and disheartened, all dolled up and sitting pretty, with no plus one, I understood.

It's no fault of theirs really, life happens. And that life existed before I did. I'm a realist. If you can't find any time out of your day, week, or month to date, then I won't force the issue. Time found from my side means either a sacrifice of some sorts or reshuffling and doing extra in the process, so if you're not willing to meet me halfway, then boy, bye!

Meeting at the right moment can also prove to be difficult if the timing is too soon. I like to give myself some time before throwing myself into the arms of another. He may want to do so prior to the ideal time for the sake of ulterior desires. And his intended place of meeting might be too private or too intimate for my comfort: that's an absolute no-no in my book.

So I'm at a crossroads, yearning for my prince to find me at the right hour, in my Cinderella moment. Until then, I will continue to switch things around for accommodations, and I'll have to learn to be patient. After all, timing is everything. Maybe I'm looking for love in the wrong places. I wonder if the answer could be discovered over the World Wide Web. Join me next time to find out how I fare as I test the waters with online dating.

krysta.anderson@gleanerjm.com