Wed | Jul 24, 2019

No glove, no love?

Published:Monday | December 3, 2018 | 12:00 AM

As sexually active women, you've probably heard every excuse in the book from a man who doesn't want to engage in ecstasy with protection. Some women fall prey to peer pressure and give in to their commands. Since World AIDS Day 2018 was recognised over the weekend, The Flair has joined in on the charge of awareness, detection and prevention of this life-altering disease by addressing one of the main causes of the spread: unprotected sex.

Now, don't get me wrong. Sex is one of the most exciting, enchanting and exhilarating experiences you will ever have. But the temptation to throw discretion out the window and bare it all is too real, it's dangerous. While early detection and medication are making it easier to live with HIV, prevention is still better because there is no cure. Let's tackle a few misconceptions these stallions tend to unleash on their felines in order to ditch the glove and show some 'love':

Building trust - a few men are of the view that going bare as you dare with you is a sign of trust. Funny enough, women are of this same perspective, attributing the use of condom as a sign of infidelity and a lack thereof as monogamy. The best way to build trust is in a safe environment. So, get tested together to know your status. Have a solid contraceptive plan that is conducive to both parties actively involved.

Going on the Pill - as it relates to protection, some fellas opt to shelf their own mode of safety measures and put women in the hot seat by encouraging them to go on contraceptive pills. But that only prevents pregnancy. That doesn't aid in the fight against spreading sexually transmitted infections and/or diseases. To love is to risk but we can take that risk responsibly.

He's clean - is he really? Has he got tested? Have you seen this test? And if so, how long ago was it taken? A clean heart doesn't mean a clean body, and it's better to be safe than to be sorry, so motivate him to check his status and you both practise protected sex.

He does it out of love - in the words of Tina Turner, what's love got to do with it? If he really did love you, then he'd want to keep you safe, period.

Added bonus: They cannot end the game all cloaked up - maybe it is that you're both playing the wrong game or at different levels. Carry him back to basics and build from there. You can level up together when the time's right: in a stable long-term relationship.