Thu | Apr 2, 2020

Gratitude ‘issa’ must

Published:Monday | May 13, 2019 | 12:22 AM

Generally, whenever I stumble upon writer’s block, my immediate go-to is to seek inspiration from others. On the topic of gratitude, I couldn’t help but validate my thoughts. My search brought these results: “Gratitude turns what we have into enough” by an unknown author. “Gratitude is a powerful catalyst for happiness. It’s the spark that lights a fire of joy in your soul,” by Amy Collette, and “Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow,” by Melody Beattie. There was no way to choose one, because all three spoke to me in a deep and meaningful way. Here’s some insight into how they moved me:

- Gratitude turns what we have into enough

Sometimes it takes reaching a place of gratitude to recognise and appreciate all that is already there before. I struggled with this for quite some time. You try to fill that void of love by almost immediately going in hot pursuit of another, without stopping to think of the sojourn that once was. And all the lessons you had learned along the way. Or you do the exact opposite, you close yourself off from the world, vowing to take a sabbatical from the amorous side of things. Both aren’t bad choices, but how long are you willing to keep up this great wall of hurt? I’m grateful that I was able to break it down and start from scratch, putting myself at the helm of things. I’m grateful for writing, it proved to be very therapeutic and I’m grateful for the support I received from family members and friends. They went through my mourning process, wiping tears. They were integral in the road to self-discovery, offering a helping hand, a listening ear, a drink or two, a night out – you name it, they were there. Many later joined teams hoping that their ‘player’ would turn out to be victorious. And ultimately, I was grateful for knowing that I was enough, and I was worthy of a healthy relationship. Only then could I make the step in the right direction.

- Gratitude is a powerful catalyst for happiness. It’s the spark that lights a fire of joy in your soul

To say that I’m happy since embarking on this new journey would be the understatement of the year. Here’s why: I was content on my own. I wasn’t seeking companionship, and neither was this guy. Meeting on a whim, we went with the flow, just to see where it would take us. I thought I was friendzoned anyway, so I really had nothing lose. And even with ‘sparks’ flying, I remained calm so as to not jinx it. But he wasn’t making it easy at all! Handsome, sweet, and attentive, he made it his point of duty to keep the lines of communication open at all times. I discovered early, too, that guys would use the term busy very loosely. If a man honestly couldn’t find the time to say hi, then it wasn’t because of his schedule: he really just wasn’t that into you. My hectic day pales in comparison to this guy almost never-ending job. He juggles many responsibilities, family included, but he will make the time in transit, calling to ask how my day has been, will send an inspiring line or two, and almost always returns the call. Date night is as important to me as it is to him, so we are able to rekindle that fire of desire. I’m also happy that we’re on the same page of maintaining individuality, growing in stride independently to contribute significantly to our relationship. It’s great that he’s there when I want him, but when that want transcends into the realm of need, I can count on him to be my superhero, my fire extinguisher or my silent partner who calmly supports without saying a word. I couldn’t ask for anything more, and for that, I am grateful.

- Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow

This was eye opening. You can’t move towards the latter without addressing the former. It was time to stop playing the blame game. And do some soul searching. Was my ex so horrible, or did I have some part to play in the demise of the relationship? The truth is, there were good times and I wouldn’t change that for anything because I knew in that moment, he cared about me. I don’t take back the bad times either, because they taught me very valuable lessons. I also took the opportunity to assess the type that I was attracting and settling down with. It wasn’t so much how they were, it was how I was with them. I had to break this vicious cycle once and for all in order to really move forward. I’ve gone to great lengths about peace of mind, there’s truly nothing like it. I’m excited to share in these intimate moments and grow in love. I have no idea what the future holds. And I’m ‘A’ ok with that. Am I hopeful? Of course! Those who know me know that I’m all about speaking things into being and bringing positive energy to life. Blessings come in many forms. And I’m just grateful for this guy because he has been just that.

Unfortunately, this is where I bid adieu. For those trekking with me from ‘Single But Iffy Mingle’, I salute you and I thank you. And those who picked up where we left off and joined in on ‘Something New with Someone New’, gratitude ‘issa’ must! For my singles out there, don’t give up and don’t make haste on the chase either. Just work on you and see where life takes you. May your story eventually change to a happily ever after. *wink*