Tue | Sep 26, 2017

Gordon Robinson | Theresa May-hem unleashed

Published:Sunday | June 11, 2017 | 6:00 AM

Cawn't sey mi neva dida warn yu! On April 23, I wrote: "I see ... Theresa May called a 'snap election' for June 8. ... She's relying on polls that give Conservatives a comfortable lead. Polls, schmolls! Those same pollsters said that Britain would vote against Brexit; PNP would win the 2016 election; and we should be obsessing about President Hillary Clinton.

There are a few facts of life that Theresa has allowed to escape her. First, her party LOST the Brexit plebiscite. The revolt was led by traditional Conservative Party supporters ... . The youth, who opposed Brexit, are hopping mad at May's Conservatives for allowing that vote to slip through their buttered fingers ... .

So, May has alienated traditional Conservative supporters AND opponents' goodwill. Furthermore, in Scotland, her name is Mad Untrustworthy Dame after persuading them to vote against Independence with promises to stay in the EU. Cassius, Brutus, and the gang are lining up long knives clutched tightly.

... Finally, Theresa May failed to consult experts in the occult effect of numbers (aka numerologists). Everybody with a passing knowledge of numerology knows that the number 8 is associated with sorrow, loss, and humiliation. Yet she calls an election for June 8? Ta-ta, Theresa!"

At the time of writing, it's officially a hung Parliament. Conservatives can win no more than 318 seats and have lost their majority in the House. The long knives are out for a humiliated Theresa. Toldja!

Otherwise, it's been a depressing time for me.

 

TERRORIST ATTACKS

 

The recent London terror attacks are personally disheartening. Except for New Orleans, a 'country' as American as France and not really a true State of the Union, as Katrina proved, there's nowhere in that unhappy continent to the north that I care to visit. Europe is a different kettle of fish altogether. I've always dreamt of an extended European holiday. However, chronic procrastination may have fermented my dream into a dangerous obsession. England is particularly unsafe and brave. Stiff-upper-lip reactions like "If we don't go about as usual, they win" or "we've been through worse, remember the IRA" no longer ring true.

This time, it's personal. The IRA had a patriotic cause, but this motley crew of religious zealots hates anybody who won't accept their God. Their crusade to eliminate the infidel is one in which children aren't collateral damage. They're treated as the enemy's future who must be eliminated.

Still, Brits are good at pretending and are putting on brave faces. But, little things give them away. The Telegraph's Helena Horton reported (June 5):

"... Off-duty doctors aren't going out drinking and having fun on Saturday nights as they are primed to act in the event of a major terrorist attack."

Ladies and gentlemen, secure your children; hide your valuables; seek safe haven. DOCTORS ARE STAYING SOBER! Not even during World War II when, reportedly, the PM himself was perpetually drunk, did Brits give up their pints. This is serious!

The timing of these attacks is significant. The terrorists seem to have stepped up their game almost immediately after Donald Twerp's disastrous international trip during which he effectively broke ties with every major US ally he could. Now, the infidel has advertised that it's divided against itself, time to strike early and often. Twerp is no longer a joke. He has established that you don't need a brain to be dangerous.

So I turned to the entertainment pages to brighten my mood only to see the persecution of Bill Cosby intensifying as media circled wagons and flooded airwaves with as much negativity as possible leading up to his trial on June 5. Despite the complainant's incredulous story, media continue to treat her as a conquering heroine. For example, long before the trial started, media convinced most that a deposition exists wherein Cosby admits drugging and raping women. It doesn't. Cosby has always maintained that the drug taking AND sex were consensual.

In 2005, the complainant told the detective to whom she first complained that she'd never been alone with Cosby before the incident and had little contact with him afterwards. But her later statements and testimony asserted that the incident took place on the third occasion that she'd been alone with Cosby. She says that he tried to molest her on the other two. Her phone records, introduced in cross-examination, disclosed that she'd called Cosby at least FIFTY-THREE times after the incident. Months after the alleged assault, she took her parents (who were unaware of the alleged assault) to see Cosby perform.

C'mon, man! Of the actual incident, she admits that Cosby offered her pills, saying that they'd "take the edge off". She took the pills from him, put them in HER mouth, and swallowed them. She said that she trusted him. About what? Surely she didn't 'trust' a man who she says had already twice tried to molest her? For what would she agree she needed to "take the edge off"? Conversation?

As sad as I am for Cosby, and as hypocritical as I know US media have been about the allegations against him, I still can't forgive him for being so persistently stupid (young girls don't fall in love with men twice their age; they fall in love with their wallets or influence); so persistently misogynistic; and so persistently unfaithful to Camille, who stuck with him through sick and sin and deserves better. Cos only has himself to blame for his tragic unravelling and the vicious restructuring of his legacy.

Back at the ranch, Jamaica's attitude to this ganja legalisation thingy has me perplexed. Do we ENJOY fiscal deprivation? Are we TRYING to be stupid, or does it come naturally? The latest squabble arising out of this interminable process is over ganja edibles. Really? SERIOUSLY? Traditionalists, including one Tracy Evans Gilbert (author of The Gleaner's June 5 Letter of the Day 'Ganja edibles pose great risk to children') are deep in denial. She writes:

"While there's research supporting the benefits of marijuana for medicinal purposes, the information available on its impact on the brain of a healthy child and teenager is neither sufficient nor cogent. Furthermore, the number of children who accidentally ingest ganja worldwide is growing ... ."

Is Tracy saying that a hallucinogenic drug, when baked or otherwise cooked into an edible form, could prove harmful to children? Well, blow me down with a feather! I'd never have thunk it. She seems to be also making the chilling revelation that children may accidentally ingest this potentially harmful form of ganja. Wow! Talk about breaking news!

Next thing Tracy will be telling us that children could burn themselves accidentally on a hot stove or swallow carelessly placed dishwashing liquid or rat poison. Imagine that!

Tracy wasn't finished:

"Three years ago, a 19-year-old teenager in Colorado, USA, jumped to his death from a four-storey building three and a half hours after ingesting ganja cookies. The cause of death, after post-mortem, was reported as ganja intoxication."

Well, Tracy, 13 years ago, a wonderful, precious, bright, sensitive young man in his early 20s threw himself in front of a train in Canada. The cause of death (apart from his unusual method of stopping trains) was prescribed antidepressants, causing suicidal side effects.

So, come down from your high horse, Tracy. The world is full of dangers for our children. Obviously, legalising ganja doesn't mean allowing children to partake any more than legalising alcohol, cigarettes, or gambling allows children to participate. We need to restrain our apparently unmitigated urge for verbal diarrhoea on every topic and legalise ganja NOW. If we don't, we'll soon find that the USA has cornered the market and exports to us.

Peace and love.

- Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Email feedback to columns@

gleanerjm.com.