Gordon Robinson | That dirty three-letter word
Let's have a conversation about sex.
We seem obsessed with the subject (not necessarily a bad thing). But our obsession is a dark one wherein religion makes sex taboo. It's dirty. Disgusting! Shameful! We must pretend it doesn't exist or speak of it only in hushed tones. If you MUST mention it (shudder), say "S-E-X", not sex.
Well, be as repressed about the subject as you like, but don't blame God. Regarding humans, God is alleged to have "blessed them, and God said unto them, be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth ... ." (Genesis 1:28). There's only one way to do that. But is that sex's sole purpose?
If God wanted us to have sex only to procreate, why didn't God say so? Why didn't God make us like horses or dogs where the female goes into 'heat' once or twice per year or like fish that lay eggs for subsequent fertilisation? Why does women's ability to have sex not end after their child-bearing years? Why'd God make sex pleasurable and endow our bodies with erogenous zones and the ability to give each other pleasure?
Elementary, my dear Watson. God wants us to have choices. Why? Because, as St Matthew might say, choice begets experience. Experience begets wisdom. Wisdom teaches us who we really are. Accordingly, the most fundamental of God's 'gifts' was free will. This allows us to free Willy. We can decide to have sex for procreation. Or pleasure. Or not at all.
Sex isn't love. Sex can be an expression or celebration of love. Sex can also be just pleasure, and, contrary to fear-mongering religious dogma, it's okay to engage in sex just for pleasure. Don't allow 'God-fearing', so-called Christians to convince you to fear God. God never asked for fear. God only asks us to love our neighbour as ourselves.
Some may recall my explaining, on August 26, that:
"It's all an illusion. That beautifully sculpted body you think you see sitting right next to your fat, unhealthy-looking, ugly self is actually exactly the same as you. Strip away the facade and you're both just bundles of energy, once little pieces of 'God', sent here to experience relativity ... ."
The bundles of energy (us) constantly transmit 'signals' (it's what energy does) in all directions. Sometimes these 'signals' intersect with 'signals' from another bundle (person), combining to produce an irresistibly magnetic oneness. It draws the two bundles together in ways they can't explain. The closer they get to each other, the more intense the pull until they finally discard society's 'rules' regarding 'going slow'; 'holding back'; 'playing hard to get'.
If they're lucky and evolved enough to ignore these man-made fears and trust the magnetism, they come together passionately to convert their already metaphysical attraction into a physical union so explosive it can't be contained. Their astral ('metaphysical') bodies are already one and then (not as often as it should) their physical bodies occasionally confirm the union.
So sex is the merger of two energies into one (which is what they were before God sent them here), and the forces driving this blending vary. It can be physical attraction alone. It can be joinder of body and mind. But the best, purest sexual experience is one that expresses the oneness of all three parts of every human being, namely mind, body, AND soul. This is the highest celebration of true love. No church, pastor, or ring required.
So stop making rules for sex. That's contrary to nature and to everything God is supposed to represent. Sexuality can't be regulated. Never deny yourself pleasure because some pastor believes he knows what's good for you and makes you feel guilty if you fail to accomplish the impossible. Self-denial as a be-all/end-all is self-destruction. How can you give others pleasure if you deny yourself pleasure? How do you give what you neither have nor know?
So procreation is a joyful result of sex, NOT its sole purpose. Resist religious dogma whose purpose is hypnotic suppression of thought. Follow your own mind. Don't follow others' ideas because they say you must. The only acceptable rules regarding human behaviour (including expressions of human sexuality) are: Do no harm to another. Take no action with or to another without that other's consent or permission. So, we're talking about consenting adult humans only.
No sex that falls within those two simple parameters is shameful, disgusting, or evil. For pity's sake, God created sex. How can it be unholy?
What about loveless sex, you ask? Puh-leeeeeze! Those among you who never experienced loveless sex burst the first condom. It isn't the best way, but in this world, stuff happens. Words like 'right' or 'wrong' are inappropriate to describe consenting human sexual behaviour, but I will say loveless sex, which can be occasionally useful (fills a particular need), won't ever be as fulfilling as sex as a celebration of love. Let's leave it there.What about kinky sex? What about it? Does your partner agree? If yes, why ask me? If that's what turns both (or all) of you on, go right ahead. Who has a problem with it, don't participate.
Now we come to the biggie, the mere mention of which sends shock waves through many Jamaicans. What about homosexual sex? Oooooooo, surely he can't be supporting THAT? Yes, I can! Between consenting adults, I support it 100 per cent. God doesn't judge any experience because God sent us here to experience ALL.
People are judgemental because God also wants us to experience being judgemental and being judged. So some of us believe our way is the only way and scorn others who do things differently. Some are so uptight, they make laws criminalising expressions of differing sexualities. It was once illegal for people of different races to marry. Or use the same bathroom. Or water fountain! The Bible (used to justify almost every example of man's inhumanity to man, including slavery) was quoted as justification.
Some of us are attracted to the same gender; some to both genders. Some are born looking like one gender but identify with the other; some uncertain with which of society's gender categorisations they identify. So? When the energies (vibes) from one of God's many pieces living with a faÁade we've labelled 'man' or 'woman' touches the energy coming from another bundle of God's energy, an identical 'attraction' can and often does result, regardless which 'gender' society assigns to the faÁade we 'see'.
Dessert loving in your eyes all the way.
If I listened to your lies, would you say:
I'm a man without conviction.
I'm a man who doesn't know
how to sell a contradiction.
You come and go; you come and go
These two are inexorably drawn together exactly as are two of God's pieces looking like different genders. The result is identical. Don't like it? That's YOUR problem. But it's been here since the dawn of time. It'll outlive and outlove your brainwashed bigotry. It'll be here at time's end.
So you're permitted to waste your energy judging other pieces of God just like you and passing oppressive laws criminalising love based on your own sexual repression.
Didn't hear your wicked words every day
and you used to be so sweet,
I heard you say
that my love was an addiction;
When we cling, our love is strong;
When you go, you're gone forever.
You string along; you string along.
Alternatively, you can accept that the world is what it is and will always be.
Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Chameleon
you come and go;
you come and go.
Loving would be easy if your colours were like my dream
Red, gold and green;
Red, gold and green.
Karma Chameleon, like other songs recorded by Culture Club written by Phil Pickett, Roy Hay, Mikey Craig, Jon Moss, and George 'Boy George' O'Dowd, was inspired by the intra-band romance between George and drummer Jon Moss, who secretly dated each other during the band's 1980s heyday. It captures perfectly the struggles of same-sex relationships during a time of intolerance and helped pave the way for greater acceptance.
I offer a money-back guarantee to those called 'the LBGTQ community'. God doesn't judge you. God will never judge you. Only some dim-witted, ignorant, narrow-minded humans do. Their perspective is as important to God's plan as yours. You're as important to God as everybody else, and everybody else is as important to God as you. So let not thy heart be troubled. Be not afraid. God is with you, too.
For the rest of us, what'll we use our free will to choose? Acceptance and tolerance? Or bigotry and hatred? As with everything else, the choice is ours.
Peace and love.
- Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Email feedback to columns