Wed | Jan 27, 2021

Alex Banton | Every young woman needs to practise proper social conduct

Published:Sunday | October 27, 2019 | 12:00 AM

As the world progresses from one generation to another, we are witnessing an embarrassing decline in the standard of how our girls are representing themselves, their families, and their upbringing.

There seems to be a difference of opinion between the previous and present generation regarding values, politics, and practices. Values are now optional. Politics is literally based on popularity and popular events and its practices are bold, aggressively vulgar, and sometimes demoralising.

The truth is, girls are now being guided by a false narrative and misconceptions designed by predators and manipulators to control, exploit, and steal their innocence by fuelling their superficial need to fit in.

The prolific future of the next generation of girls is at stake if someone, somewhere doesn’t introduce an intervention or start a revolution to restore morals, sensibility, and self-esteem to this generation of young girls.

The need for the teaching of social conduct and its importance to the next generation of girls has never been more imperative.

Social conduct used to be simple and easy to adopt and was handed down from parent to child. Parents usually teach the rules of social conduct through example, and those examples would instil in us the standards, practices, and principles of good behaviour.

Principles that were forged into our consciousness by codes of these are ethical and religious practices that we would learn to live by. These codes were loaded with decency, appropriateness, spirituality, and politeness up until a generation ago.

Technology and the introduction of social media have created windows to the rest of the world, windows that can be viewed at randomly and without understanding or parental guidance,

Young girls are now able to create and share digital content of themselves from almost anywhere in the world, so a closed door is not as safe and private anymore for our daughters. A party with just a few friends no longer exists when pictures and videos can now be viewed by millions of people with just the click of a button.


We are now in an era where young girls are being hypnotised by public personas who are designed to deceive, manipulate and intimidate them for profit, popularity, or whatever twisted reason are drummed up.

As a young female, the sex-sells notion and the directive to stay current and popular can easily mesmerise you. So let me educate you on some of the more appropriate practices of social conduct.

Social conduct is the mixture of behaviour, language, attire, and attitude, that reflects your character; and it is your character that truly defines you.

- You should practise to be articulate and practical when you speak so as to avoid complications and misunderstandings.

- Be honest to generate sincerity and trust. Be true to your word and always do your best to keep a promise.

- Be respectful to everyone, regardless of who they are or their circumstance, for respect is the currency for audience and possible obedience.

- Be mindful of your actions, your attitudes, and how you carry yourself.

- Be appropriate with your attire, practise good posture, and carry yourself with the pride of knowing that you are beautiful inside and out.

- Be confident in the fact that the female naked body is one of the most beautiful works of art but is even more beautiful when it is tastefully clad with appropriate apparel.

- Your actions towards and around adult males are to be carefully calculated, for a lustful predator will read your simplest gesture as flirting and try to capitalise on what they think is an invitation.

- Do not entertain or participate in sexually explicit conversation with adult males.

- Do not accept any monetary or materialistic gift from any adult male without the consent and approval from your parents.

- Do not send explicit digital photos of yourself to a male if you don’t want them to be viewed by others.

- Do not post any lewd or incriminating photos on the Internet.

- When you are upset or disappointed, try not to dwell on the negative as negativity fuels ignorance.

- Avoid telling lies to create excuses, mislead, or to misrepresent yourself because the truth has a mind of its own and has a way of surfacing for no apparent reason but to expose your lies and decimate your character.

- Most of all, it is your attitude towards people in general that truly pronounces your conduct, so pay attention to your words, your gestures, your actions, and your body language.


The notion that an adult male friend of your father’s or mother is your uncle is misleading and will give a predator authority to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience from you, so unless you have explicit instructions from both parents, Sir or Mister is the appropriate title.

One other notion that is damaging to young, aspiring females is the idea that a man should be a source of income. No. A man should be a friend, a companion, a source of strength, and a channel for emotional release.

Your income should derive from exercising your education and your physical and mental abilities at doing a job and advancing in your career.

- Alex Banton is the author of ‘The Memo To My Daughters’ available on Email feedback to and