Sat | Aug 18, 2018

Those God-awful athlete praises

Published:Wednesday | July 1, 2015 | 12:00 AM


It always amazes me when the first thing our athletes say when they are interviewed after winning an event is, "I want to thank God."

Now I wonder, are they thanking God for the win? For keeping them healthy through the race? For the chance to do an interview on TV?

I'm not sure, but it really is amazing that someone with three rings in each ear, a nose ring, a navel ring and tattoos all over their body, including a devil with horns as a tramp stamp, says, "Thank God" first after a victory.

I would love Kayon Raynor or Karen Madden to interview the person who came last. I suspect that person might say: "First of all, I would like to cuss God. I train twice as hard as the winner. I don't party, I pray twice each day, and I go to church three times each week, and yet God let him win."

That's an interview I would love to hear.

I have always assumed that God has a strong sense of humour, and that would explain why He allowed so many Jamaicans to turn up at the National Stadium last Friday to see the great Usain Bolt, only to find out that he is not taking the track.

god is too busy

Somehow, though, I think with millions of children starving around the world, wars and rumours of wars, ISIS and Boko Haram, floods, fires and even pestilences, God is too busy to be watching the Jamaica track and field trials and determining that the great VCB is going to finish third while the new sensation, Elaine Thompson, is going to win.

I would suggest to our athletes that God has already blessed you with physical attributes that predispose you to athletic superiority and He has given you free will to determine who will coach you, how and when you will train, and if you will or will not take performance-enhancing drugs.

After all, God has given you these attributes. It is now up to you to decide whether you are going to become a champion or not.

Like you, I accept that God is omnipotent and omnipresent, but unlike you, I don't think He will determine if you win or lose.

As my mother always says, "In all things praise God," but believe me, no matter how I fast and pray, take communion and give my tithes, I am not going to complete the 100 metres in under 15 seconds.