Thu | Jan 18, 2018

The doctor lick him head

Published:Tuesday | September 15, 2015 | 12:00 AM


Reading Michael Abrahams' online article, 'Bible tales from the crypt', published in The Gleaner on September 14, 2015, I must confess, I finally got it.

Pardon my simplistic analysis, not being as 'edduukatedd' as he is, and the fact that my only exposure to psychology is a few documentaries watched on the Health channel.

I know that as a physician, it is sometimes difficult to disclose an adverse diagnosis to a patient, especially when the future looks grim.

Please try to get close family around you, have a seat, listen attentively to the diagnosis: "Dr Abrahams, I regret to inform you that you are suffering from an almost incurable case of Shameless Attention Seeking Disorder."

Please forgive my simple terminology. I am aware that some people may scoff at the diagnosis because it is not in Latin or Greek.There are various manifestations of your disorder. I will list a few:

1. Serial killers;

2. Arsonists;

3. Controversy seekers.

I am sure by now you would have figured out your position on the list. Don't tear your hair out, there is HOPE.

Here is a shortlist of options:

1. Spiritual

A) Kneel at the side of your bed.

B) Have a conversation with the God that you have been earnest to disparage.

C) Ask Him to forgive you.

D) Ask Him to intervene and be Lord of your life.

2. Temporal

A) Seek psychological help.

B) Take a break from your busy schedule.

C) Avoid reading or writing commentary for as long as it takes for a cure of this malady.

D) Get a new hobby. I hear that gardening or birdwatching could be good therapy.

I really mean you well. I hope my non-expert, simplistic diagnosis and suggestions are not taken to mean ill will. Honestly, they are not.

As a man of the Christian faith, I must confess that I am biased in favour of Option 1: spiritual.

I hope that my inclusion of Option 2 (temporal) is a sufficient indicator that my intention is not solely conversion, but cure.

Wishing you a speedy recovery,