Letter of the Day | Why women date ‘money men’
THE EDITOR, Sir:
As women become more independent and financially empowered, the dating pool available to them shrinks. If you ask most women, they'll tell you they wouldn't feel comfortable dating a man who makes less money than they do.
Most women will admit, often in jest, that while they strive to be "independent" and not have to rely on any man for their needs or wants, that they, from time to time, long to be taken care of and be 'mined' by a man.
As women have biological differences from men, such as becoming pregnant and having to carry and breastfeed/nurture a newborn, they instinctively look for a mate who can provide for them in this situation. It's a matter of survival.
You may ask, if the woman is financially independent, then why would any of this matter? Our bodies have "a mind of their own". We don't choose to beat our hearts or excrete our waste, neither do we choose who we are attracted to; it's an automatic function, ensuring our survival, not necessitating the use of conscious choice.
Here's a basic biology lesson: Women develop one egg every month that may be fertilised by a man. Due to the investment and risk of pregnancy, it is in her best interest to find a mate who is able to provide for and support her and this newborn, if she gets pregnant, while she may be unable to, or less able to, due to the heavy biological tax on her body while carrying the foetus.
This is a purely biological instinct, beyond the manipulation of thought or logic. The fact that there is contraception available to avoid pregnancy does not make a difference to this instinct. It is hardwired into their bodies. Women just feel more comfortable with a man of higher status. Getting pregnant is a heavy investment on the part of the female, nine months to carry the baby to birth, the pain associated with childbirth, the caring of the child after the birth - this is a lifelong commitment that has to be carefully considered.
How many times have you heard a woman say she'll only date a man if he makes more money than she does? How many times have you heard a man say ANYTHING about a the career of a woman he's dating? Probably never, because nobody cares.
When it comes to dating, men don't look for a woman with wealth or status. If a man sees a good-looking unemployed woman, he will still approach her. Men are generally attracted to good-looking women for sex. Women are generally attracted to a provider or at the very least someone who is of higher or equal status to her in society.
Men select women by looks. For men, personality is the deciding factor if a man is going to get into a long-term relationship with a woman, but if the man doesn't find her attractive in the first place, he isn't going to approach her to find out what her personality is like.
Women select men based on emotional and support issues. The man still has to look decent in order for her to give him a shot, but an unattractive man that has a mansion and a yacht and is able to financially support her will still be able to attract an attractive female to share his wealth. If the man is unattractive but is unable to support her financially, she is much less likely to establish a relationship with him.
Men get richer and more prestigious and become more attractive to women. Similarly, women get richer and more prestigious and raise the bar for men that they're willing to date, since they want to date guys that are better off than they are.