Tue | Jan 23, 2018

Rio Nuevo to Gayle road a wreck

Published:Saturday | February 11, 2017 | 12:00 AM
Ethon Lowe A massive breakway on the Rio Nuevo-to-Gayle road.

Travelling along the four miles stretch of road from Rio Nuevo to Gayle in Western St Mary is never dull. Here's why.

The plethora of churches along this road, 16 and counting, affords a great opportunity to go to heaven. A new church created for every adversity - hence more prayers. And, don't forget prayers emanating from those glitzy social events laughingly called prayer breakfasts, where society's hopefuls meet, ostensibly to pray, but mainly to vie for public attention. Jamaica will be saved. Alleluia!

For those morally deprived, disbarred by the Church, the ubiquitous bars conveniently located next to the churches offer their own unique and different brand of comfort and succour to keep these unfortunates happy (yup, keep them drunk).




The main attraction is of course the pot holes, or, more aptly r**sholes. Tired of the same old holes? Don't worry. Never boring, new holes appear daily, some looking like your loving aunt Agatha, when care is exercised in negotiating said holes - either avoiding or slowly descending into them. Holes resembling your worst enemy or an obnoxious in-law, with cathartic pleasure, you run over with full throttle, at 50mph. Car mechanics, of course, will approve of your heroic action.

Finally, tired of life? Why not end it all with a splash (not literally, there is no water down there. Trust me). A spectacular leap from that scenic embankment (see picture) is all you need.

Thanks to those assorted politicians and National Works Agency officials who, by their non-action, have allowed this road to be one of Jamaica's best kept secrets.