Tue | Jan 26, 2021

No man is an island

Published:Tuesday | January 14, 2020 | 12:20 AM


Another romantic relationship has ended in a murder-suicide. The attendant rhetoric from John Public will be reamplified for yet another nine days: “man luv fi gi bun and cyaan tek it”; “A one eediat man dat, him deserve fi get bun”; “Wha mek him neva just kill himself and lef har alone?”; “Him tink seh him money coulda hold har”…and the list goes on.

I am starting to believe that these murder-suicides are less about infidelity and the lavish of worldly possessions and more about the threat of losing their central support systems: their partners. That one individual in whom they can confide; that one individual who knows their deepest and sometimes darkest secrets; that one individual who knows their fears, strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures, likes and dislikes. Such a threat can send the mind into a tailspin, causing a temporary loss of rationality.

Consequently, this can nudge a man into crossing the Rubicon of death, since he believes that he has nothing more to live for and selfishly wants to deprive others of his partner’s support.

Diversification of support systems is urgently needed to cauterize this scourge. Men need to press the stop button on their egos, normalise expressing their emotions, and stop being ashamed or afraid of seeking help.

We all have bad days and need assistance to get through them. Above all, be reminded that no man is an island.