Thu | Sep 20, 2018

He wants to whip me during sex

Published:Saturday | February 21, 2015 | 12:00 AM

Q Doc, I am female, age 19, and I have met a nice guy who I am thinking of marrying. The only trouble is that for some reason, he wants to whip me whenever we have sex. Why?

A This guy clearly has sadistic tendencies. He probably cannot have sex without inflicting pain on the woman, so I strongly advise you not to marry him.


Must she have a Pap smear after sex?


Q Hi, Doc. I am a girl who has just had sex for the very first time. It was OK - not as good as I expected, but OK. That was last week.

What I need to know is, because I have now had sex, should I immediately do a Pap smear test?

A No, there wouldn't be any point. Admittedly, any woman who has ever had sex should have regular smear tests, but you needn't be in a big rush to get started. All young females who are starting out on their sex lives should be aware of these vital facts:

n Sex can (and probably will) give you the virus HPV at some stage.

n HPV frequently causes changes in the cervix, which is the soft 'bump' you can feel in the innermost part of the vagina;

n These changes can eventually lead to cancer, which is really bad news.

n But if you have regular smear tests, the doctors will be able to pick up extremely early changes in the cells.

n When these early changes are detected, it is almost always possible to cure the problem long before it can do you any harm.

So, these tests are a really good thing, but you don't have to do them the moment you've lost your virginity.

Any time in the next six months will be fine.


He felt a string



during sex


Q Doc, I am a guy of 20, and I don't know too much about sex. I have only done it a few times. Last night, I found an older woman hitting on me.

I suppose this was a little unwise of me, but I let her take me to bed. I have to say that she gave me a really enjoyable time. But what terrified me, Doc, was this: Inside her, I could feel something like a string. It did not hurt me, but for a while, I was scared to discharge.

What does it mean, Doc? Has she got some sort of VD? Maybe this was a treatment for it?

A No, this was not a symptom of a sexually transmitted infection (STI). There are two possibilities:

1. She may have an IUD (a coil), and if so, it was the thread of the coil that you could feel;

2. She may have had her menses and took you to bed while she had a tampon inside her. Tampons have a soft string attached to them to facilitate removal.

So, there is no need to fret about this string, but please realise that going to bed with a lady who hits on you in a bar is a pretty good way to risk either:

n Pregnancy

n STI.

I would advise greater caution in future.


What is the best time to get pregnant?


Q We are a young couple trying desperately to have a baby. Doc, what is the best time to get pregnant? Is it just after the menses, as we have heard?

A No, generally, it is a little later than that. You need to have sex round about the time of ovulation.

Ovulation day varies a bit from woman to woman, but as a rule, it occurs just before the halfway point between the start of one period and the start of the next. So, if a female has a 28-day cycle, her ovulation time is likely to be around about the 12th, 13th or 14th day, counting from the first day of menstruation.

There are more precise ways of pinpointing ovulation. For instance, you can buy an ovulation testing kit at a pharmacy. Please remember that the ovulation day may vary a little from one month to another.

Once you know roughly when your time of ovulation is, you should try to have sex on that day - and preferably also on the day before and the day after. Good luck.


My son is obsessed with breasts


Q Doctor, my son, who is 16, seems to be obsessed with women's breasts! I try to be fairly broad-minded in the way I deal with my children, but I am just a little bewildered by this boy. On the walls of his bedroom, he has at least 15 photos of pretty girls, all of them with big busts.

Is there something wrong with him? Or have I failed to bring him up properly?

A No, there is nothing wrong with him. And I am sure you haven't brought him up badly. It is actually normal for a fairly highly sexed young man to be really interested in breasts. The odds are that he will soon grow out of this obsession and realise that women are a lot more than a pair of 'boobs'. It would help if you could talk to him and get him to understand that women are people, and that their minds are interesting, as well as their bodies.


Contraceptive implant


Q My doctor is really keen for me to have that implant contraceptive, where they put something like a matchstick under the skin. Would it interfere with my sex life, and are there any other big problems?

A No, the implant shouldn't spoil your enjoyment of sex. And as a contraceptive, it works really well. Once it's under the skin of your arm, you can forget about it.

Possible side effects include:

n Irregular menses,

n Spots on the skin,

n Headaches,

n Breast tenderness,

n Weight gain.

One thing you have to remember is that once the device is in, it's probably going to be there for around three years. You can have it removed before that if you want to, but only a specially trained doctor or nurse can do that for you.


'Hat' condoms


Q A friend of mine is offering to sell me some special condoms he got from Mexico. Doc, he says that they feel much better than ordinary condoms, because they are just like little 'hats' which a guy wears on the end of his organ.

That sounds good to me. Should I buy some?

A This type of 'short condom' just fits over the head of the penis, leaving the whole of the shaft uncovered. That means that the guy may get improved sensations during sex. Women are unlikely to notice much difference.

These mini-condoms are often called American tips or Grecian tips. Although the basic idea seems a good one, I would not advise you to use this type of device. Why? Because of the simple fact that short condoms tend to fall off the penis during intercourse! And once they come off inside the vagina, there is a serious risk of pregnancy.

Also, you may have difficulty in finding it if it is lying somewhere near the cervix.

n Email questions to Doc at and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.