I'm unemployed and frustrated
Q I have been unemployed for three years since there was a mutual separation from my last job. I was dissatisfied with what I was earning after working for 10 years with them, and perhaps because of that frustration my performance might have dropped a little bit. I have a degree from a reputable university and although I understood that the profits for the company were flat and they needed money to invest in new equipment to drive greater output and efficiencies, I know they could have increased my salary. However, I am frustrated because I have been unable to get a job although I am well known and have good contacts. I did not know I would have got so many negative responses to my applications. My wife earns a very good salary, much more than I do, but I find it frustrating that she is carrying the family. It does not bother her, but it is a problem to me. I am also irritable and snap at my son for no reason. I tried my hand as a consultant, but after presenting my plans, which were usually well received, there was nothing to show for my efforts. It is getting me down, and though I try to keep a happy personality, it is very frustrating. Sometimes I think of asking my former employer back for the old job. What can I do?
A Perhaps in the future you will not be so eager to get a mutual separation. It is better to have half a loaf than no loaf at all. Furthermore, you need to negotiate differently. You could have sought fringe benefits in lieu of what you thought you deserved. You could also have asked for a re-classification after the profits and plant had improved.
It is commendable that you have tried other things such as a consultancy. Some other things you could try include engaging in charitable work and easing your frustration by helping others. It might help you to meet persons who might be impressed with your work and attitude. You could also do some short courses and improve your skill set and marketability.
It seems you need to have a look at yourself. You seemed not to accept that your performance dropped. As a professional, you should not let poor wages affect your performance. Even when you are not getting what you deserve, you should do the very best under the circumstances.
Additionally, what is your motivation for wanting your old job? Do you really feel you can make a difference, or is it due to desperation? You could benefit from going to a counsellor since you admitted that you are taking out your frustration on your son.
Finally, please count your blessings that your wife can afford to maintain the family, and even better, she is doing it without a murmur and without complaining. Obviously, she loves you and the family. You need to build on it and tell her how much you appreciate her commitment to the family.