Tue | Oct 17, 2017

Dear Counsellor: Depressed but faking it

Published:Tuesday | April 28, 2015 | 12:00 AM

Q: I am not coping. I am not managing my weight. My clothes are tight on me and I am eating late at nights and often. I am not managing my home either. I get angry at my five-year-old son. He plays too much and does not study or do his homework. He watches too much TV and plays a lot of games. I smile with people at work, but I am not happy. I miss work deadlines and give a lot of excuses.

Deep down I know I am depressed, but I do not want to seek help. Furthermore, I am not sleeping well. My blood pressure is up again. Sometimes it is a burden to take my son to school and to his many other activities. I am trying to do a first degree, but I miss classes and I'm failing half of the subjects. Nothing seems to be going right at this time.

I try to avoid my mother because I know what she is going to say. She is going to be critical of how I look because she manages her weight well. Some people think she is my sister because she looks good. She is always on top of things and manages her life very well. I do not want to go to social events. What to do and where to start?

A: It is good that you are seeking help through this column. It is good that you admit you are having a problem and seeking help. You need to be professional at work and not wear your problems on your sleeve. However, make sure you are not leading a false life. Just be real when it is necessary.

If your blood pressure is climbing, then you need to visit your doctor as quickly as possible and follow the instructions.

You need to manage your weight through a proper and balanced diet and exercise. You might need to get a personal coach to help you over this rut. You can start by eating smaller portions and not eating too late.

Perhaps you are too harsh with your five-year-old son. He will need space to play and enjoy life. Be careful that you are not expecting him to behave like an adult. Equally, be careful you do not overload him with schoolwork. You need to help him with his homework.

doing too much

It appears that you might be doing too much with work, housework, mothering, and studying. You need help. Perhaps your mother, who is more experienced and more organised, can help. So instead of avoiding her and her sharp tongue, perhaps you need to engage her and see how she could assist you with all your responsibilities. She might be able to help you with transporting your son to school and other activities. Additionally, you need to socialise with your friends because this will help you cope with problems.

Finally, since your self-diagnosis is that you are depressed, then you need to see a counsellor right away.

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