Doctor's advice: Can't continue after an orgasm
Q: Doc, I am a guy who has recently got engaged to a beautiful and brilliant girl! We are having sex, though our parents do not know this! So please do not print anything which would give away our identities.
My problem is this, I have very little experience with sex, and I just can't work out when she is orgasming.
That may not seem much of a problem to you, doctor, but it is causing a rift between us. You see, again and again I reach my climax - and then she gets mad at me because she has not reached hers yet. And she cannot understand that I am unable to continue.
A: Well, you should begin by explaining to your fiancee that most young men cannot continue having intercourse after they have climaxed. This is because orgasm usually removes the ability to remain stiff.
However, I must point out to you that just because you have lost your erection, that does not mean that you cannot continue stimulating your fiancee. You have two hands and it is possible for you to 'work' on her clitoris - and go on stimulating it till she orgasms.
Now, you say that you have difficulty in telling whether she is reaching a climax. Well, physiologists have listed numerous 'signs' which indicate whether a woman is orgasming. These signs are:
* The breathing becomes faster and faster;
* The heart also beats much faster, and you may feel this against your chest;
* The lady generally cries out, often screaming quite loudly at the moment of greatest pleasure;
* Her fingers and toes curl up tight as the arm and leg muscles contract;
* Sudden changes occur in her nipples (these are complicated, so I will explain them fully at a later date);
* If her chest is quite fair-skinned, you may notice a temporary 'rash' appear on it, moments before orgasm;
* According to scientists, the bottom 'twitches' at the moment of climax - though it is unlikely that you will be able to detect that.
But there is one other very simple thing which I must point out to you. Why not just ask your fiancee to tell you when she is about to reach orgasm? That simple communication 'trick' makes everything a lot easier, and avoids a great deal of frustration and misunderstanding.
Birth control safety ratings
Q: I am going to have to start using some form of 'birth control,' because I have a passionate boyfriend, and he wants to have sex at least four times a week. I am happy with that, but I must protect myself!
So what I am asking you, Doc, is this. What are the 'safety ratings' (in terms of chances of pregnancy) for the main methods of contraception?
A: Good question. All sexually active young people should have some idea of these statistics. Methods of contraception are rated in percentages. So, '100 per cent' means that if 100 couples used the method for a year, then no one would get pregnant.
Similarly, '95 per cent' means that if 100 couples used a contraceptive method for a year, five women would become pregnant. And '50 per cent' means that 50 of them would conceive!
However, these figures can never be exact because of the simple fact that people VARY in how well they use the various methods. Thus, if you only remember to take the Pill (say) three times for the week, your chances of conception are going to be pretty bad.
But assuming that these main methods are used carefully, then here are their approximate reliability ratings:
- The Pill: almost 100 per cent.
- The Shot (the Jab) Almost 100 per cent.
- The IUD (the Coil) About 98 per cent.
- The Mini-Pill Around 97 per cent.
- The Condom (the Sheath) Roughly 95.
The rating for the condom is very much affected by how well you use it. If you rip your guy's condom with the jewellery on your finger (or with your teeth), it obviously isn't going to work. Result: pregnancy.
Can I get an STI after only a minute?
Q: I am a guy of 19, and I did something unwise while on a visit to downtown Kingston.
So I would like to know this, Doc. Is it possible to catch a sexually transmitted infection (STI), even though you have only put the male organ in for around a minute - no more than that?
A: If you go with a girl who has a STI, you are placing a very vulnerable part of your anatomy into a little tube that is likely to be dripping with germs.
So I am afraid that even being inside for just one minute is very likely to land you with an infection.
Therefore, if you have slightest doubt about whether you could have caught something in downtown Kingston, you should see a doctor right now for an examination and tests.
Will Pap smear reveal lesbian encounter?
Q: I have to go to a doctor for a Pap smear test. Is there any way he could detect that six years ago, I had a brief one-night stand with another girl?
A: No, there is no way that any doctor could detect this. So please quit fretting.
Worried about injury to testicles
Q: Doc, last week I got hit down by a car, and something hit me in the testicles. I went to hospital, and they checked me out, and said I was OK.
That night, I thought I had better make sure that my sex organs were in working order. Fortunately, everything seemed to be OK, and I was able to orgasm without difficulty.
But do you think there is any chance that this powerful hit on my testicles could make me either impotent or infertile?
A: From what you say, that is most unlikely. Really severe blows on the genital organs can indeed make a guy sterile, or perhaps make it difficult for him to have erections. But happily, such disasters are rare.
Sounds like you are going to be fine, and will have a normal sex life.
- Email questions to Doc at email@example.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.