Mon | Oct 23, 2017

'I have a problem'

Published:Saturday | June 20, 2015 | 12:00 AM

Q Doc, I am a guy of 20 with a problem. I tend to climax a little too quickly whenever I am with a girl. This is annoying.

Now Doctor, I have discovered that if I have just one drink - like a can of beer - before going to bed with the young lady, that somehow 'slows me down', so I do not orgasm too quickly - and the girl is quite happy.

But why is alcohol having this effect on me, and is it OK to continue using it in this way?

A Well, you obviously have a slight case of premature ejaculation (PE), but it does sound mild.

Like a lot of young guys, you have discovered that a small amount of alcoholic drink has the effect of making you less 'explosively-triggered', so that you last a little longer.

The reason it works is that alcohol is a mild depressant on centres in the brain, so when you've had a drink, many things work a little more slowly, including sex.

Also, small amounts of alcohol tend to take away anxiety - and anxiety (nerves) is a common cause of premature ejaculation.

So far, I suppose we could say 'all well and good', but the problem about using alcohol in this way is that you may find that as time goes by, you need to use more and more of it. Some guys drink an awful lot in order to delay their orgasms and then they find that the booze is making it difficult for them to get an erection.

So, instead of using beer as a treatment, I think you should consider wiser measures. For instance, when a young man just has mild PE, it's often a good idea to simply start using condoms - preferably thick ones. The thickness of the condom 'dulls' the guy's penile sensations a trifle - and so makes him less likely to 'go off' too soon.

If that doesn't help much, your next step could be to try using the famous 'Long Love' condoms, which contain a little local anaesthetic on the inside. The idea of this is to slightly numb the penis so that the male is less likely to discharge. You can find out more by simply 'Googling' the words 'Long love condoms'.

However, I must warn you that the local anaesthetic in these condoms can sometimes cause a sensitivity reaction in the guy's skin - with soreness, itching, or even pain. The same thing can happen to his female partner if the anaesthetic somehow gets inside her.

If matters don't improve, I think you should go and see a doctor. He may suggest medication or he may just suggest that you use one of the famous 'distraction' or 'slide' techniques in which the guy forces himself to think of something unsexy if he feels a climax approaching.

Finally, I am a little concerned at the fact that you sound as if, at the moment, you are having sex with more than one young lady. This is not a great idea.

I advise you to keep to one partner and please do make sure that one or other of you is using adequate contraception.

I'm late!

Q Doc, I am five days overdue with my menses. Is it too soon to do a pregnancy test?

My boyfriend only put it in for five minutes and I don't think he discharged, so I had assumed that pregnancy was impossible. Yet, here I am waiting for the menses.

ASorry to hear this. No, it is not ' too early' to do a pregnancy test. Please do one right away!

A lot of young couples think that pregnancy cannot occur if the guy 'only puts it in for five minutes'.

They are wrong.

I will keep my fingers crossed for you, but please do not take such risks in the future.

Is it safe to have sex with my girlfriend?

QWhen I was at boarding school (age 14), I had sex with another boy. I am now 18, and am very interested in girls.

In fact, my girlfriend and I are thinking about going to bed together. Doc, would this be safe, bearing in mind what I did with another young guy four years back?

AUnfortunately, that sort of thing does tend to happen in boys' boarding schools all over the world.

If you have not had any symptoms since that episode four years ago (symptoms like a discharge from the penis or the anus), then you are probably alright. But there would be a case for going to a doctor and asking about sexual health tests - particularly for chlamydia.

Could my fiancÈ have given me genital warts?

QI have been in a happy and, I thought, faithful relationship with my fiancÈ for three years, but now I have suddenly developed genital warts around my private area. I am having these treated by a doctor.

Am I right in thinking that this means that my fiancÈ has been cheating on me and has brought these nasty warts home to me?

AUnfortunately, it is usually impossible to say where a person got genital warts from. They are caused from a virus.

You might have caught this virus long ago from a previous boyfriend. Alternatively, your fiancÈ might have picked it up from a previous girlfriend - well before he met you.

So you don't have any evidence that he has been unfaithful to you. The important thing now is that you should have a full course of treatment to get rid of these warts on your vulva. Do not have sex until you are completely cured.

Also, your fiancÈ should have a check-up from the doctor who is treating you in order to make sure that he doesn't have any warts in his foreskin or elsewhere.

Am I in love

with her?

QAs a guy, I have never rated girls very highly, but now I have met this wonderful young lady and I think about her night and day. To be honest, Doc, when I lie in my bed at night, I can't help masturbating because I think she is so marvellous.

She seems quite friendly towards me and smiles a lot.

I have no one to advise me, but please tell me: Do you think I am in love with her?

AYou certainly are. Whether she is in love with you is another matter! Why not ask her out? But please don't be in too much of a hurry to go to bed with her.

I note that you are both only 17, so it is important not to do anything foolish - like getting her pregnant.