The Back-Up Plan
In relationships, we all dream of acquiring the fairytale ending. Well, most of us anyway. But in searching for our very own happily ever after, we sometimes get weary of waiting for Mr or Mrs Right and growing frustrated with the many 'right nows' throwing off our psyche, a few of us will determine then and there that we want to safeguard our future and come up with what I would like to call a back-up plan.
Sounds fictional, right? Well, believe it. I have a back-up plan. After a tumultuous four-year relationship, I vowed that if I reached 30 and I wasn't married, I would run off to Europe and join in nuptial bliss with my best friend, who at the time had dreams of studying there. He agreed to the terms, stating too that if he hadn't gotten serious and married anyone, then it made sense: we knew each other more than we knew ourselves, were loyal and loving to the other to a fault and I can guarantee we both would not be bored since we are both adventurous.
Suffice it to say, he completed his scholastic pursuits in Europe and is now working there and I haven't married anyone, as yet. So is it still on the table? More or less, but I am focusing on the immediate plan as it stands before me.
Many called me crazy, even stated that this would hold me back from finding my true love, but the plan was set up only as a safety net, in the event that life didn't work itself out according to the ordained plan. I was relieved to find out that a few shared my view of the back-up plan. Here is what some of our readers had to say on the matter:
I don't purposefully have a back-up plan, but the reality is, there is usually somebody there that could potentially fill the spot if plan A didn't work out.
- S.G., 31, female
If I am approaching 40 years of age and don't have a child, I wouldn't bother to have one. I don't want to have children too late and not be able to enjoy them the real way. I'd prefer to adopt.
- K.M., 27, male
My back-up plan has been to have a baby with a close male friend. Or settle with the best out of the worst ex and have it with him by age 30. So, if nothing happened by age 30 to 35, I would do one of the two.
- J.L. 29, female
I usually have a back-up plan for my relationship; that's why I normally have a side chick, just in case she falls through, I have someone to pick up the pieces. But at the moment, there is no back-up plan; there is no side chick, just one girl because there is no one else who even interests me.
- G.W., 28, male
I had a guy in my life who was trying to make a name for himself but we were just not making ends meet. That is where my back up plan came into being. He had already acquired wealth, made a name for himself and was a provider.
- T.O, 33, female.
I once had a back-up plan to leave my boyfriend for what I thought would be a better relationship. But I aborted the mission when I saw he was a little too freaky for me.
- S.C, 30, female
I had several back-up plans in my life all linking to the person who has had a really big presence in my life for many years, if I wasn't in a relationship.
- T.P, 29, female
My back-plan was if I hadn't had a child by 40, I would adopt. I got pregnant before then, but it did not follow through, so now that I am 40, I am actually going through the process of executing my back-up plan and adopting.
- K.M, 40, female