'He squeezes my neck during sex'
Q. Hi Doc. I am female, and I am a student, age 17. Three weeks ago I met an older guy, who is handsome and persuasive. He must be around 28.
The first time we went to be together, everything was OK. But the last few times have been frightening. When he gets excited, he puts his hands on my neck and squeezes, like he was strangling me.
On each occasion, I was terrified and begged him to stop. Sometimes he did, and sometimes he carried on. At the end of each session, I can hardly speak. So I am not enjoying sex with him.
What is going on here, Doc?
A. You must ‘dump’ this guy right away. Unfortunately, there is a very small number of men who get their kicks out of squeezing girls’ necks. Why they are like this is hard to say.
But the fact is that sometimes they go too far — and the young woman gets sick, or even dies. You must not risk this happening to you!
So please tell this dangerous man ‘goodbye.’ And maybe you should warn your friends about him too.
Q. I am a guy of 17, and last Monday I had sex with a girl for the first time in my life. It was great.
But Doc, as soon as I pulled out of her, something strange happened. I found that my foreskin had got kind of ‘stuck.’ It just would not roll forward into its proper position.
That was quite painful, Doc. The pain has now eased up, but my foreskin is still ‘stuck’ where it was. So of course, I dare not have sex — even masturbation.
Help me please, doctor!
A. OK, don’t fret. All will be well. What you have is a condition called ‘paraphimosis.’ If you like, you can look this up on the Internet.
It is a reasonably common problem, and it occurs in guys whose foreskins are too tight. As a result, the foreskin gets ‘trapped’ below the ridge of the head of the penis. So it will not come forward to resume its proper place — in which it should be covering the head of the organ.
You are quite right to have avoided sex since this happened — since that might have made things worse. I hope that by now your foreskin has gone back to its normal position.
If not, then you must see a doctor as a matter of emergency! Why? Because the tight foreskin may constrict the penis so much that serious damage can result. In fact, occasionally gangrene may develop.
So find a doctor, preferably a urologist. He or she will know of a way of pushing the head of the penis back through the tight skin.
After that, what happens? In general, if a young guy has paraphimosis of his penis, it is best for him to do a circumcision operation. That will ensure that this unfortunate event never happens again.
Q. My boyfriend is returning to Jamaica next month, so I am thinking of going on the Pill, Doc.
But there is one thing I do not understand. If he and I have sex more than once a month, will the Pill still protect me?
A. Yes. Once you have got started on the Pill, you can have sex as often as you like.
But please do remember to take it regularly ‘as prescribed’ — without missing any tablets.
Q. I have fallen in love with an older woman. I think she is around 27. I am a guy of 18.
It is wonderful to be with her, and to go to bed with her. But one thing surprises me, Doc. When we are fooling around in the bedroom, she likes to have a ‘porn film’ playing in the background.
Is this OK? I did not think that women ever watched porn.
A. Well, many people disapprove of porn, and find it difficult to imagine how any female could ever watch it.
However, the statistics are surprising. Though various surveys show differing results, they all demonstrate that quite a lot of females do watch ‘blue movies.’ One of the more reliable American surveys reported that 66 per cent of young men had watched porn in the past week — while 18 per cent of young women had done so.
Admittedly, quite a lot of young females watch porn because they have been persuaded to ‘join in’ by their boyfriends. But these days, a substantial number of women (of all ages) say that they sometimes have a look at this stuff on their own.
So your new lady friend is not alone. However, one word of caution: these blue movies do sometimes contain some very odd and unpleasant practices, often featuring violence and cruelty towards females. I do not think that either you or your new girlfriend should be watching that type of thing.
Final point: do make sure that when you are having sex with what you call this ‘older woman,’ one of you is using some reliable contraception. Ladies of 27 do get pregnant, you know!
Q. Soon after I started having sex with boys, I caught a yeast infection. Since then, it just keeps coming back, again and again.
I have had at least 20 prescriptions for anti-yeast stuff, but it just don’t cure it, doc.
A. If anti-yeast medication keeps failing to cure a woman’s vaginal condition, then it’s probable that she doesn’t have yeast at all.
You should visit a doctor’s office or clinic where they can do tests for yeast. These tests may well show that you really have some other problem — which could be treated.
On the other hand, if the tests show that you really do have yeast, then I advise these measures:
1. Don’t sleep around.
2. Keep to one partner.
3. Make sure that he takes a good course of anti-yeast cream.
Q. My left testicle keeps going up into my belly during sex, Doc. Is this serious?
A. Not really — provided that it doesn’t get stuck inside the belly. That can result in severe pain — and sometimes infertility.
So please have a doctor check out this ‘wandering testicle.’ You probably won’t need any treatment, but it’s just possible that you might have to have some surgical stitches put in, so as to ‘anchor’ your ball in the scrotum.
Q. I am female, age 19. I am sure I am heterosexual. Well, I certainly like boys.
But a year ago, Doc, I had a kind of ‘night of passion’ with another girl. She then emigrated, and from that time, I have not seen her.
What is concerning me is this. Could I develop AIDS as a result of that brief relationship with another female?
A. Well, HIV (the virus that causes AIDS) is only very uncommonly passed on by lesbian-style sex activity. This is a contrast with gay male intercourse, which is quite an efficient way of causing AIDS. Also, it is very important to realise that straight ‘boy-girl’ sex can easily pass on the virus.
Frankly, I think that any risk to you must be minimal. But if you are fretting, go to a doctor and ask for a blood test.
Email questions to Doc at firstname.lastname@example.org and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.