Doctor's Advice: Did one-night stand get her pregnant?
Q. Hi, Doctor. I am female, age 18. I love my boyfriend very much. I want us to be together for the rest of our lives, and I really, really want to have his children. Sex with him is wonderful. He assures me that he loves me and wants to be with me forever.
But last Monday, I did a foolish thing. I was by myself at a party, and someone gave me several 'fruit drinks'. I did not realise that they contained quite a lot of rum.
At the end of the evening, I found myself having sex with a boy from Clarendon, who was only there for one night. I do not even know his name.
When I woke up next morning, I felt terrible, Doc. I could not believe what I had done! I prayed for forgiveness.
My big problem now is this. Should I tell my boyfriend what I did with the guy from Clarendon? I dread that what has happened will ruin our wonderful relationship. By the way, we had sex together last night.
A. You may not be too pleased with the first thing I am about to say. It is this: a lot of teenage couples think that their loving relationship is going to last forever and that they will still be together in 50 or 60 years' time.
Sometimes this does happen, but very often, it does not. The beautiful teen relationship breaks up, and the boy and girl move on. In most cases, they find other partners.
But leaving that to one side, let us turn to what you did at that party. Alas, your story is a warning to other teenage girls! Do not drink rum punch when you have no idea of how strong it is. If someone has poured a lot of spirits into the fruit juice, you could become fairly drunk very quickly. Sadly, a girl who has had a lot of alcohol may well find herself seduced before she knows it.
It sounds like you 'went all the way' with that guy from Clarendon, and you do not say anything about using contraception, so unless you are on the Pill (or are using some other reliable method), you must wait and see if your menses arrive this month.
If they do not, then please get a pregnancy test done. If it is positive, you should consult a doctor for further advice or write to me again.
Now we come to the big question in your letter. Should you inform your boyfriend about what happened?
My view is that at present, you should not do so. Such a revelation could be distressing for him and there is no knowing what he might do. Frankly, he may simply leave you. I do not think he will cause serious trouble for or become aggressive towards that other young guy because Clarendon is a long way from where you live.
So for the moment, I urge you to keep quiet. I note that you have had sex with your boyfriend since the episode at the party. Let us hope that you did not pick up any STI (sexually-transmitted infection) from the Clarendon guy - and did not give it to your boyfriend. If in doubt, both of you should get tested by a doctor.
Summing up, I hope your loving relationship will prosper, but in view of your 'cheating', I am not all that optimistic. Much will depend on whether the menses arrive this month.
Finally, if you are feeling bad, please consult a youth counsellor who can help you through this difficult time.
I wish you well.
Q. I am a guy of 17. Last week, I had the agonising experience of getting the foreskin caught in my zip!
Doc, it took me two hours to free it, and it hurt a lot. Also, it bled a great deal.
The bleeding has stopped now, but I have a long, ragged cut, extending for two-three inches around my foreskin. It is a little tender.
What should I do now, Doc? Can I have sex?
A. These foreskin injuries are common. Fortunately, they don't often have serious consequences, although occasionally, the cut is so bad that the guy has to take a circumcision operation.
What should you do now? Here is my three-point plan:
1. To make everything feel a little better, put some Vaseline on your foreskin three times for the day.
2. See a doctor for a check-up. Don't fret! It is unlikely that the doctor will recommend surgery.
3. Do not have sex until you are completely better! Don't even masturbate.
I hope you heal soon.
Q. I have had bad yeast in the vagina over several weeks. I bought some anti-yeast stuff from the pharmacy, but I am no better, Doctor.
My symptoms are a bright yellow, bubbly discharge, and very bad soreness. This makes sex impossible.
A. I don't think you have yeast. This sounds much more like the common vaginal bug called Trichomonas vaginalis.
Any female who has a yellow discharge should consider that she may have that infection. Please go and see a doctor, who can see if you do have what is often (rather confusingly) termed 'TV'.
If so, the doctor can give you some oral tablets, which will cure you.
Q. I am a guy of 19, and I don't seem to possess the same amount of sexual desire as my friends. Some of them have sex three times for the week - or more.
But if I do it with my girlfriend every 10 days or so, that is enough for me. Doc, do you think I have some kind of hormone deficiency?
A. Young men vary a great deal in the amount of sex that they have. A few like to enjoy an orgasm every day, and a small number are happy with around once per month.
You are somewhere in the middle of that range. There is not the slightest reason to think you are abnormal, and I do not believe for one moment that you have a hormone deficiency.
Q. What would happen if I let my boyfriend have sex with me during my menses?
A. Nothing - though there is a small chance of pregnancy. Having sex during the period is a messy business - and is definitely not everybody's idea of fun!
But there are no ill effects on the health of either the male or the female. You may have heard a story which says that if a pregnancy occurs, the baby will be a 'red child', but that is not true.
Q. I am a young guy who is having an affaire with a much older lady. She says she is 56, but she is still beautiful.
Please reassure me, Doc. Is there any chance that I could get her pregnant?
A. Pregnancies at the age of 56 are incredibly rare - except where the woman is being treated with fertility drugs. The oldest woman who ever conceived without the use of these drugs was 56 years and seven months.
But please bear in mind that these days sexual infections are not uncommon in the over-50s. In my view, you should be using condoms.
- E-mail questions to Doc at firstname.lastname@example.org and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.