Sat | Jul 21, 2018

Dear Counsellor: My friend is suicidal

Published:Tuesday | March 15, 2016 | 1:02 AM

Q: I have a young friend who says she is suicidal. She is in a relationship with her boyfriend but it is not going well. He has not called her for three weeks. In the last week he deleted her number from his phone. He has not returned any of her calls.

I am not sure why she loves him because he curses her and also hits her.

She said he is her true love and soul mate. She claims he makes her feel good. She drove by his workplace just to see him, to feel good. She saw him and felt good. She has done that every week.

However, she did not approach him because she was fearful of his reaction.

She is in a good job and is very bright. I do not know what she sees in him. I doubt she is serious that she will commit suicide. She feels that would prove how much he meant to her.

I told her not to end her life, but end the relationship. I am getting tired of her calling me every day with the same foolishness. She wants me to talk to her boyfriend, on her behalf, but I have flatly refused. What should I do?

A: You should never take it lightly whenever someone says they want to commit suicide. It might seem pointless to you but when a person is desperate, and feels hopeless, anything is possible.

In addition, she might be bright, academically, but this does not mean she is emotionally intelligent and stable.

She is insecure and needs validation from this man.

Considering she confides in you, do not get weary in well-doing. Provide an outlet for her to let off steam. You need to validate her as a person with good qualities, who should not accept abuse. Since you are not comfortable to go and talk to her boyfriend, stick to your position. Please encourage her to get professional help, quickly, as you cannot cope with her extreme behaviour.