Thu | Jan 19, 2017

Doctor's Advice: I can't satisfy them

Published:Saturday | April 9, 2016 | 12:00 AM

Q: Doc, I am a desperate young guy. So far, I have not been a big success with girls. I have tried three young ladies and none of them has been too satisfied by me.

I urgently need your help! It is clear that my organ is not reaching to the end of the vagina. I cannot spend my life like this, Doctor.

I am asking you kindly, Doc, what can I buy that would give me an extra inch on my penis length? I would pay anything.

Maybe there is some prescription or medication which you could send me that would give me that vital extra inch? I have checked with a school ruler and I am only around 5.5 inches in length.

My future happiness depends on you.

A: No, it doesn't. I do not wish to be rude, but I think you should wake up to the idea that a lot of what you are saying makes little sense. I must admit, however, that many young guys have the same sort of concerns about penile length as you do.

First of all, the idea that these three young ladies were left unsatisfied because you are 'an inch too short' is absurd. Women are not usually very interested in the length of a guy's organ, and it is rare for a female to say that she is dissatisfied with a man's length.

What you have not realised is that the average length of a young woman's vagina is only three to four inches. If you don't believe me, check it out on the Internet.

Admittedly, the vagina does tend to lengthen somewhat during sexual excitement, but your penile length of around 5.5 inches should be enough for any woman. In fact, judging by the latest statistics for males, you are just about average.

Please forget this idea of acquiring 'an extra inch' on your penis. There is no device which you can buy that will do that for you, and there is no medication in the world which will have that effect.

So why did you apparently fail to satisfy those three ladies? Has it occurred to you that you may have approached them in totally the wrong way?

To 'pleasure' a woman, you should approach her with the 'two R's' - romance and respect. You must treat her as a human being, not as some sort of sex object. You must 'work her up' gradually, doing the things that she likes - and not what you think is the best thing.

I am not sure how old you are, but I feel that you should postpone your attempts at sex for some time until you have learned a great deal more about it - and about women. If you check out the words 'love play techniques' on the Internet, you will be offered around 155 million different sites. Admittedly, some of them are quite irrelevant, but a number of them will teach you things that you certainly don't know at the moment and which will put you in good stead during adult life.

 

Q: Doc, I am female, 19, and I am considering getting one of those 'coil' things, but what I am concerned about is if this will: will it reduce my interest in sex.

A: No, the 'coil' or intra-uterine device cannot affect your libido (that is, your sexual desire) in any way.

I ought to warn you, however, that it will probably make the menses heavier and possibly more painful.

 

Q: When I drink a lot of alcohol, I often find it difficult to get an erection, Doc. Is this normal?

A: Well, it is an extremely common result of having too much alcohol. This situation is often humorously known as 'Brewer's Droop'.

What is clear is that you are drinking more alcohol than you should. I strongly advise you to cut down.

 

Q: My boyfriend likes me to watch porn movies with him, and I don't mind, Doc, because sometimes they turn me on.

Unfortunately, however, he often wants me to act out what we see on the screen - because, he says, that is what is normal.

In particular, we have recently watched a whole bunch of videos about what seem to be called 'daisy chains'. This expression appears to mean that a lot of people (usually women) lie on the ground and have some kind of oral sex with the two people who are immediately on either side of them.

He says that I should persuade some of my female friends to join in this, while he watches, but I do not want to do that, Doc. So he says I am abnormal.

 

A: Well, he is wrong! It is a big mistake to think that what goes on in porn movies is normal.

Generally, the directors and script-writers create something that is wild and wacky so as to attract the attention of the public - and especially of young males, who make up a high proportion of the viewing audience.

As to 'daisy chains', I doubt if one person in 1,000 has ever tried to go in for this crazy activity. As you suggest, it involves a lot of people (maybe 12 or 20) who lie around in a circle. As a rule, it mainly involves females because of the fact that it is technically difficult to fit many heterosexual males into this scheme of things.

What happens is that each woman puts her mouth on the vaginal opening of the lady who is lying just next to her head. At the same time, she receives oral sex from a female whose face is between her thighs, and so on round the circle.

As you can guess, this extraordinary manoeuvre is not every woman's cup of tea. For your boyfriend to claim that it is normal and to urge you to find other girls to do it with is just foolishness.

 

Q: My fiancee and I are inclining towards the view that she might go on 'the Jab', Doc. What are side effects of this injection?

A: Well, this should be your fiancÈe's decision, not yours.

The 'shot' is a good method for most women - not all. The main possible side effects are:

- Irregular menses

- Prolonged menses

- Heavy menses

- Sometimes absent menses

- With long-term use, possibly thinning of the bones.

Also, some women get spots on the skin, breast tenderness and weight-gain. For further information, your fiancee should consult the doctor who is going to prescribe the injection.

 

Q: On Wednesday night, I let a guy have sex with me while I had a tampon inside. Will this do me any harm and will it prevent pregnancy, Doc?

A: Quite a number of young women do have sex with a tampon in the vagina, but it is not a good method of contraception, as the sperm can find their way around the device and get into the womb.

You probably haven't done yourself any harm, but sometimes what happens is that the tampon gets jammed inside, thanks to the thrusting of the penis. If the young woman cannot get it out, that can lead to an unpleasant discharge.

My advice is that you don't try this again.

- Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.