Mon | Oct 23, 2017

The 'Spugs' Saga: What Would You Do?

Published:Thursday | March 9, 2017 | 5:16 PMKrysta Anderson

Just about everyone saw the whole 'Spugs' debacle unfold in last Sunday's Gleaner.

In an advertisement placed in the form of a letter, Damian, expressed remorse for his wrong doings towards his wife Kay, whom he affectionately called 'Spugs'. In the same breath, he put in a request for her forgiveness, with hopes that they could make amends.

Since it began trending on social media, many have shared mixed reviews on the approach to reconciliation. So we asked a few of our female readers, what would they do if they were Spugs? Here is what they had to say:

Just a letter alone cannot confirm that he is really ready to re-enter the relationship. Sometimes they just miss the comforts of a structured home life. If I were her, I would go to joint counselling and then after six months, we’ll decide if we can go back together.

-Donna Hope

I don’t know. Even though he apologised publicly and romantically, I wouldn't be quick to be swept off my feet because he apologised via an ad. Especially if he was apologising for something really bad. Apologising doesn't mean it won't happen again.

-Audre Wisdom

This is a real thing? Where men openly write to their wives to try and get them back? I think we would definitely have to have a conversation and I would need to know if I'm willing to take him back or not.

-Ariane Collman

He is so sweet! I would take him back because he has accepted his wrongs and is working on it — going to counselling is a big step and I would join him.

-Mishka Anderson

I'm torn. If it were me, I would rather he come and have a conversation with me. However, I know how I can be, and taking out an ad like this would certainly get my attention, because we all know how I can lock people out at times.

-Shaniene Campbell

I'd read it and then still break up with him. If things are so bad that he resorts to that, then I am done.

-Stephanie Lumley

This gesture would definitely earn points in my book. Not only is he apologising, but he's admitting to the world that he has messed up and he's sorry. This shows that he understands how much he has hurt me, and that I probably will not give him the time of day to allow him to say all of this to me face to face — hence he's saying it loud and clear in the paper. It's a sign of a man who knows he has done his woman wrong and is willing to do whatever it takes to fix it.

-Donna Moodie

The ad is touching and heart warming. But it sounds like he cheated, paid her no attention and took her for granted. He’s not going to change — men don’t change. They don’t grow older and wiser for the benefit of the world. They do that for self preservation. They make changes, selfish decisions, based on self preservation or individual hurt, but as a society of women, we extend forgiveness because it is our understanding that ‘man a man’. Let him stay. I would say to him — “Dear husband, I am sorry you saw things too late, a next man saw it right away. All the best, from your fed up wife.”

-Iceta Wright