We want a foursome
Q Doc, we are young couple who are very much in love. Although we are just in our teens, we hope to get married some day. But a curious problem has arisen in our lives.
We have two friends, a couple in their 20s. They are kind of tourists,
really. But they are going to be in Jamaica for some months. They are both nice, and because they have a lot more money than us, they often take us out. We have a good time with them.
Well, they have suggested that we should have a sort of 'sexual foursome'
with them. This would mean all of us staying overnight at their house
(which has a huge, king-size bed), and then 'changing partners'.
One of us finds the idea quite exciting. But one of us is not so sure!
What do you think, Doc? Could we do this, and still maintain our love? When the other couple leave Jamaica, would we be able to 'forget all about it' and get on with our lives?
A I am guessing that out of the two of you, it is the boy who is keen on
going in for the 'foursome' - and the girl who is not so sure. It is
usually that way round - though not always.
Look: this plan is crazy. Again and again, I have seen sexual 'foursomes'
go wrong. At the start, it all seems like great fun. In particular, males
are very likely to think that it would be marvellous to have two females in
a single night, perhaps moving from one lady to the other.
But before very long, psychological conflicts tend to emerge. People get
jealous of each other. They suddenly find that they are getting emotionally
attached to the 'wrong' partner. Young guys are quite likely to become
upset because they decide that the other male is 'better endowed' than them or can 'last' longer in bed.
Add in the problems of possible unwanted pregnancy and of sexually
transmitted infection, and you have a recipe for big trouble!
Also, please remember that teenage love is a precious thing. The two
of you have something beautiful which you have established between you.
Bringing two other people into your intimate, loving relationship could
well wreck it.
So all in all, my firm recommendation is that to go ahead with this
foursome thing would be foolishness. Please don't do it.
Q Doctor, I am a 17-year-old guy, and I am concerned about what I
think is called my 'ejaculate'.
From I was young, I have always produced a lot of fluid. I have often had
to spend a lot of time cleaning up my sheets in the morning, so that no one will know I have climaxed.
Well, recently I was staying in a kind of dormitory with some other boys of my age, and by chance I saw someone else's 'ejaculate'. Doc, it was far, far less than I produce.
I was concerned about that, so I decided to look up 'volume of ejaculate'
in a human biology book we have at college. It said that men 'should
produce 5 ml' at a time.
Well, I think that I must be producing around twice that amount.
Is there something wrong with me, Doc? I hope that it is just that I am
A Please don't fret about this. It is true that the average male produces
around 5 ml (5cc) of fluid at orgasm. However, many younger guys ejaculate quite a lot more than that. Indeed, 10 ml is pretty common, particularly if the youth has not climaxed for a while.
So you can calm down and cease worrying. If you want to know more, you could read the Wikipedia entry on 'ejaculation', which is medically sound and quite informative.
Q Doc, is it true that there is some special time of day to take the Pill?
Several of my friends say things like 'It has to be taken at
breakfast-time', or 'You must take it last thing at night'.
What is the truth, please?
A The ordinary type of contraceptive Pill can be taken at any time of day.
But it is best to decide for yourself on the time of day you want to take
it - and then stick to that.
If you start 'popping it' at various different times of day, you are likely
to forget it. That is not a good idea.
As you suggest, a lot of women take the Pill at breakfast. But many others
take it last thing at night, just before they go to bed.
Please note that the situation is different with the Mini-Pill
(progestogen-only Pill, or progestin-only Pill). The Mini-Pill has to be
taken at roughly the same hour each day. That is because there is really
not much hormone in it, and so there is very little 'margin for error'.
Q Hi, doctor. I am a guy who was a virgin till a week ago. So I do not know very much about sex.
But last Friday, I supposed you could say that I was 'seduced' by an older
woman (26). I must add that it was a nice experience, and even better
than I thought it would be.
One thing is puzzling me, Doc. Right at the end, when I felt I had almost
become unconscious, I suddenly heard the older lady 'shriek' as though I
had hurt her. Does this mean I did something wrong?
A No. The great probability is that this 'older lady' simply had an orgasm.
As you don't know too much about sex, you clearly have not realised that at the moment of climax, many women do scream out loud - particularly if they are really 'letting themselves go'. So you have no cause for alarm.
As you haven't much knowledge of sexual matters, could I just inform you that intercourse with this lady could get her pregnant! Also, if she
happened to have any sexually transmitted infection (STI), there is a high
chance that you could catch it.
So, if this affair continues (as I suspect it might), please get yourself
some condoms - and use one every time.
Email questions to Doc at firstname.lastname@example.org and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.