Tue | Aug 4, 2020

Help, I am having trouble controlling my sexual desires

Published:Wednesday | May 13, 2015 | 12:00 AM

Dear Joan,

I gave my heart to Jesus over four years ago and to tell the truth, I am now struggling to live the life I should. I am in my early 30s and I'm still single.

Before, I was okay, but these days I am now battling the desire to have sex. I enjoy reading romance novels and I like to watch love shows. I don't watch anything with profanity, I just stick to wholesome stuff.

I really want to serve the Lord with all my heart, but the desires seem to be getting stronger and stronger. I am ashamed to talk to my pastor or anyone at my church about this, but I am hoping you will help me to shake these feelings. I don't want these desires of mine to lead me down the wrong path.

- Struggling

Dear Struggling,

It's good that you are fighting these feelings, but I think you are creating unnecessary problems for yourself. You are a single Christian.

Don't go borrowing trouble. Cut out all those romance novels that you have been reading, and while you are at it, ease off the romance movies, too.

You are actually feeding your desires with this steady diet of romance! You will never be able to shake those sexual feelings if you continue to feast on those things. I suggest you expand your movie watching and reading taste to more inspirational stuff.


Am I saved?

Dear Joan,

A few months ago I attended a crusade, responded to the altar call, and gave my life to the Lord. The trouble is I just don't feel as if I am saved.

I prayed the sinner's prayer, but I don't feel any different. Sometimes when I am in church and see others jumping up, shouting and getting excited, I wonder if something is wrong with me.

Before I gave my heart to God, I used to curse, swear and party like there is no tomorrow. However, whenever I get upset, I try not to curse anymore, and when I do, I have this feeling of guilt.

Please Joan, I have no desire to go back to my old ways, but lately I have been feeling so discouraged. Just how do you know that you are saved?

- D.G.

Dear D.G.,

I think your problem is that you are caught up too much in 'feelings'. The minute you prayed the sinner's prayer, God forgave your sins and accepted you into His fold.

Remember, salvation is not about feelings. Faith is the key to all of this. By faith, you believe that your sins are forgiven and by faith you claim your place into His fold.

The fact that you no longer enjoy some of what came natural to you is proof enough that a change is being brought about in you.

Regarding those you observed who are getting excited, just remember everyone worships in different ways. Some people are more expressive, while others would rather go into their closet and worship quietly. I encourage you to read your Bible each day, cultivate the habit of doing personal devotions. Don't rush through it. When you read your Bible 'chew' on the scriptures, don't rush through it, let each verse minister to you. Before long, you too will be enjoying a closer walk with the Lord.

Blessings on your journey.

- Joan

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