Wed | Oct 17, 2018

Faith counsellor: In love with an unbeliever

Published:Saturday | May 23, 2015 | 12:00 AM

Dear Joan,

I am now dating someone who I truly admire. He is everything I want in a man. The only thing is that he is not a Christian. In my church, they say we should not be unequally yoked - meaning I should marry someone who shares my faith.

The trouble is I have not seen anyone that I am attracted to in my church. I

didn't exactly go seeking this relationship, it just happened. It was one of those moments when you meet someone with whom you 'just click'. I truly love him and I believe he loves me too. He asked me to marry him and I asked him if he thinks at some point in the future he will ever give his life to Christ. He said maybe.

Should I go ahead and snatch my moment of happiness or wait for someone else to come along? Everything in me is telling me that he is the one.

- JH

Dear JH,

I have to be really careful how I answer you. It is not for me to tell you to go ahead and marry him, or not. I know that before I tied the knot with my husband - and he is a Christian - I still prayed a lot about it until I got confirmation in a way that I couldn't miss that he was the one for me.

I would suggest you not rush into anything. The Holy Spirit is a great teacher and friend, He will guide you into all truths - if he is the one for you. Continually seeking God and His will for your life will reveal that to you.

I can tell you, though, that most times when Christians marry unbelievers, conflicts generally arise - if the other partner does not understand or respect the other's faith, then even the very act of going to church could be a problem. What if your partner wants to do stuff such as smoke, go to parties, which makes you uncomfortable ... how will you handle that?

At the end of the day, you are the only one who can decide what your next step will be.



I keep lying for my co-workers

Dear Joan,

I am a Christian and I really enjoy my walk with the Lord. But, honestly I have been struggling with something from the other day. My co-workers sometimes ask me to say that they are 'unavailable' when they don't want to deal with a caller. Before I know it, I am there passing on the message. I tell my co-workers to stop asking me to do it, but they won't stop. How do I get them to stop doing it? I am now feeling really guilty about the whole thing.

- JB

Dear JB,

If you really want your co-workers to stop asking you to lie, then you have to show them that you are serious. As long as you are accommodating them, then, I am sorry, the requests will keep coming in.

Let them see that you are serious about your Christianity. The next time they ask you to cover for them by lying, tell them no. You can transfer the call to them, or if they are beside you, hand over the receiver!

I pray you will get the strength to do the right thing.


- Do you have an issue in the Church and need guidance? Send questions to