Tue | May 30, 2017

Faith Counsellor: My girlfriend is too close to my husband

Published:Saturday | August 1, 2015 | 8:00 AM

Dear Joan,

I am having a problem and I am wondering if I am just being too harsh or what. Honestly, I am really uncomfortable with the way my girlfriend is close to my husband. Considering she met him through me, she spends more time talking to him than me. She calls him about the issues she is dealing with. Her personal information, I hear it from my husband and not her. She talks to me, but just the casual stuff.

One time, I asked my husband how come they have got so tight. He said there is no 'hanky panky' going on. She just feels comfortable sharing stuff about her relationship with him, as she loves to have input from another male.

What do you think? Is it all as innocent as it sounds or should I just cut things off with her and tell my husband to do the same?

- H.J.

Dear H..J,

I understand where you are coming from, but you should know your friend and the husband that you have. From the outside looking in, I can see why your friend would feel more comfortable telling your husband her relationship issues.

I wouldn't be too quick to think that something other than what they say is going on.

I must confess that when I want an opinion on any issue I am having with my husband, I tend to ask another male friend of mine.

However, if it's bugging you so much, you need to deal with it. Have an honest talk with her, tell her it's not that you don't trust her, but you are not comfy with her frequent phone calls to your husband. I must warn you, though, that this might bring on some uncomfortable vibes in your relationship with her.

Sit down and think things through - weigh the issue carefully and then make your decision. you could be messing things up with your friend on the sheer basis of insecurity.

- Joan

 

My father is against my fiance

Dear Joan,

I am engaged to a church brother of mine. He is a wonderful person, really thoughtful, and I am impressed by his relationship with the Lord. There are days when I am not so excited by this Christian journey and he is the one who encourages me and sets me on the right path again.

The trouble is, I am hesitating to set a date for our wedding because I am waiting on my father to come around. He doesn't like him one bit and it has nothing to do with his character or his treatment of me. My father is saying that I am "looking down" by marrying him. I have a first degree and looking forward to doing my master's degree, but my fiance is a taxi driver.

I really want his blessing on my wedding, but he is so stubborn and prejudiced. Do you think he will ever come around?

- J.K.

Dear J.K.,

I have to tell you this. If everything feels right in your relationship, then stop wasting time and set a date for your wedding. Your father has lived his life already and now it's your turn.

From what you say, the only shortcoming from this man is that he makes his living by driving a taxi. I don't see anything wrong with that. He is not a thief. He is working honestly.

A lot of women have married men in their social bracket and are far from happy - as long as you love him and have no issues about his job, then that's all that matters.

Just because he is driving a taxi now doesn't mean that's what he will be doing for the rest of his life either. Once you are married, you both can make plans on other business ideas if you want.

Have a firm talk with your father, tell him you love and respect him, but in this matter, you have to go with your heart.

He might just surprise you by coming around after he sees that nothing he says or does will prevent you from being with the man you love.

- Do you have an issue in church and need guidance? Send questions to familyandreligion@gleanerjm.com.