Sexually molested at six, physically abused, Kadian Dowman bounces back
Kadian Dowman is now married to the love of her life. She has a very supportive partner, who has seen her at her worst, but is now receiving the best of her.
For her, it is God's blessing, as she has lived a very troubled life starting with her being sexually abused by a family friend at the age of six.
All that changed on May 6, 2012, when she gave her life to the Lord. It was at a time in her life when she said everything was going downhill for her.
"I just got kicked out of my friend's house by her father because we were against him molesting a little girl who couldn't talk properly. He put all three of us as girls out. It tore me up badly because I was forced to remember something that I had locked away for years," she said.
Her boss - a woman of God showed a little girl's testimony titled '23 Hour Dead'.
"It's a testimony of God showing the little girl heaven and hell. I wasn't interested at first until God spoke to me the Friday night and Saturday morning. What the Lord told me that Saturday morning changed the way I looked at things in the world. He said, 'You have to sell yourself to get what you want in this world and all I want is for you to worship, and I'll give you everything you need'," she said.
Dowman went back to work that morning, watched the testimony again, ran to the bathroom and broke down in tears. She ended up giving her life to Christ then and there.
There began her healing process from the rape she experienced at age six.
Although it's a painful memory for her, she told Family and Religion it happened after her mother went to work overseas and left them to live with a cousin in Trelawny. There, she was sexually abused by a friend of her uncle.
"I kept it a secret until 2013, when I opened up and told my mother about what happened. The man who molested me is now a mad man," she said.
By age eight, Dowman said she started rebelling sexually. She started out with her own relative, having moved to Kingston. She said she tried to have sex with her brother while he was asleep.
"At that time, I wanted to have sex. I had such a hunger to have sex with my brother until it began to disgust me and it felt so nasty, so I stopped and I never did it again. I started to watch porn instead and masturbate," she said.
multiple sexual partners
She, however, had a lot of sexual partners all because she didn't think her life had much value, added to which, she didn't have a support system.
"During my darkest moments, I would talk to God a lot. I would ask Him why am I going through all of this? Why me? Why do I have to go through this?" she said. Dowman said she used those times to go into a corner and cry, wishing she was never born.
All that changed for her when she surrendered and gave her life to Christ, but it proved to be a big challenge letting go of her old lifestyle as she was still struggling with sex and masturbation.
"I had sex three times with three different men. I couldn't take it no more. I decided that enough is enough, so I started seeking help until I met my pastor. He took me through a deliverance session, and now I'm free," she said.
Dowman no longer struggles with the desire for sex - except from her husband, who she said, opened her life to real love - the kind she was searching for all along.
"My husband changed my life by making me realise that I can still find love. Finding love was a major problem for me. By the help of God, he changed that," she said.
Reaching out to others who may think there is no way out of their situations, Dowman is giving the assurance that the same way God delivered her, He can do the same for them.