My girlfriend has left me
Q: As a guy of 19, I thought I knew a lot about girls. But to my utter amazement, my current girlfriend has suddenly left me.
This happened last night. We were having a drink in a bar, and I was looking forward to having sex with her afterwards. In fact, I told her that.
She looked at me in a funny way and then she put down her drink and said: 'I am never going to have sex with you - ever again. It's over between us!'
She then walked out. I sat there bewildered. Some of the guys in the bar were laughing, Doc. They said things like 'Man, you weren't good enough for her.' I had another couple of drinks, then I went home. After that, I lay awake most of the night, crying.
Why do you think she has dumped me, Doc? I am sure it is something to do with sex.
In fact, I strongly suspect that she thought my organ was not big enough for her. Is this likely, Doctor?
A: I do not think that there is the slightest chance that she ditched you because of the size of your organ. Contrary to what you probably think, women are generally not all that interested in how many inches long a guy is.
Common reasons why a girl may dump a guy include the following:
- He is not nice enough to her;
- He doesn't listen to her;
- He is too self-centred;
- He takes her for granted;
- He is not romantic enough
- He doesn't like her friends;
- He is been unfaithful to her;
- He doesn't want to get married;
- He drinks or smokes too much;
- He neglects personal hygiene.
You'll notice that in this list of reasons for breaking up, I have not included anything to do with sexual 'performance'. Admittedly, sex does sometimes play a part in making women 'dump' guys, but when this happens, the problem is usually one of these things:
- His selfishness in bed;
- His unwillingness to make sure that the lady is satisfied;
- His habit of regularly climaxing far too soon;
- His tendency to cause her pain.
As to the question of length, I don't think that I have ever seen a case in which a woman ditched a guy because his penis was too small, so you should forget that idea.
The best thing you can do now is to accept that 'it's all over'. Also, just think about what you could do better in your next relationship.
Is Postinor safe?
Q: I am 20 and, although I try not to, I sometimes have sex with guys. Do you think it would be safe for me to use Postinor, Doc?
Has it got any bad effects, and does it always works?
A: Well, I am a little concerned about your sex life. Frankly, it would be better if you found one guy and remained faithful to him.
Also, most doctors would suggest that you use either the condom or some regular contraception (like the Pill or the shot), rather than relying on Postinor - which is meant to be an emergency contraceptive.
However, Postinor works pretty well. Pregnancies are uncommon. The earlier you take it, the better it will work. It must be taken within 72 hours (that is, three days) of unprotected sex,
Possible side-effects include delayed menses, irregular bleeding, nausea, diarrhoea, vomiting, belly-ache, breast tenderness, dizziness, and headache.
Having said all that about unwanted symptoms, the fact is that most young women are able to use Postinor without getting any side-effects at all.
Can a man get yeast infection?
Q: Doc, is it possible for a guy to get yeast in the penis? My girlfriend keeps being attacked by yeast of the vagina and it gives her a bad discharge.
The doctor has been treating her, but yesterday he told her that I must have some treatment as well.
A: Yeast is a fungus called Candida albicans. It loves living in warm, moist places, which is why it so often causes trouble in women's vaginas.
It can also cause painful inflammation inside the cheeks of young babies since their mouths are warm and moist.
Now, can it affect guys? The answer is 'yes'. It likes 'nestling down' in the folds of the male foreskin. Very often, it causes no symptoms, but it can make the man feel sore and itchy.
Clearly, the doctor suspects that you may be carrying some yeasts - and that perhaps you are reinfecting your girlfriend whenever you have sex.
Therefore, it is very reasonable that he should write a prescription for some anti-yeast treatment for you. There are various possible medications, but many docs recommend some stuff called 'clotrimazole cream' - to be rubbed into the penis around twice for the day.
Q: My fiancÈ likes to enter me from behind. I don't mind this, and often find it quite exciting, but the problem is this, Doc.
Shortly after having that kind of sex, I cannot help 'pumping out' quite a lot of gas from my vagina. This is very embarrassing because it is quite noisy.
I cannot understand how I am making all this gas inside my body. Could I get some pills to cure the problem?
A: No, pills will not help - sorry.
Quite a lot of young women complain of this noisy vaginal flatulence. The import thing to realise is that you are not making the gas yourself! What is happening is that your fiancÈ is pumping air into you whenever he thrusts inside. Naturally, the air has to come out again - and it usually does so rather noisily.
Vaginal flatulence happens more in some sex positions than in others. The 'doggy position' (which you mention) is notorious for causing it.
So really, you have two options:
1. After talking things over with your fiancÈ, agree that in future you will use other positions;
2. Continue using his favourite 'rear entry' one - but just accept that there will often be a little noise afterwards.
Aunt wants me in bed
Q: I am a guy of 17, doc. I have an attractive aunt. She is not my blood relative, but she is married to my uncle.
Surprisingly, she has been 'hitting on me'. At first, I thought this was just a bit of fun, but now I realise that she has been trying to touch my penis. In fact, she has told me that she wants to take me into her bed.
My friends say that I should go ahead - as it will be 'valuable experience', but I am not so sure, Doc. What do you think?
A: I feel it would be absolutely crazy to go to bed with your auntie, even if she is not your blood relative.
The ancient prohibitions against that kind of 'within-the-family' sex relationship were real wise. You see, sex with a close relative is likely to lead to all kinds of terrible rows and recriminations. Violence and even suicide can result.
So do not do it. I urge you to put a considerable amount of distance between you and this strange auntie of yours.
- Email questions to Doc at email@example.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.