Mon | Oct 23, 2017

I’m in love with two church brothers

Published:Saturday | November 21, 2015 | 12:00 AM- J.N.

Dear Joan,

I am having a problem and I really don't know what to do. I find myself in a situation where I have feelings for two church brothers. No, they don't attend the same church. I used to attend a church in one area and had a great friendship with this brother. I started developing feelings for him. I got through with the National Housing Trust unit that I had applied for in the parish where I am working.

After relocating, I found a church close to where I live, and I really enjoy the worship vibes there.

The youth director and myself hit it off the first time we met. I liked his energy and he said he liked the way I was passionate about youth outreach. We started working on projects together and, to tell you the truth, the more we worked together, the more I found things to love about him. He has not said anything to me to indicate that he is interested in me in a romantic light. I just have the feeling that he feels that way. Meanwhile, the guy from the other church has been calling me often, telling me how much he misses me and wants us to hook up. I still like him and would want to explore a relationship, but I think I love the youth director more. The only thing is that he is not saying anything to me!

Dear J.N.,

Before you met the choir director, you were quite contented with the brother from your former church. As far as I am concerned, nothing has changed to have you building castles in the sky about this new brother in your life. The mere fact that he has not expressed a romantic interest in you should tell you that he might not be having similar thoughts about you. You say you have the feeling and he has feelings for you too, but it may be that you are the only one feeling that way. You would do well to refocus your thoughts and stop daydreaming about what might never be.

Someone is already interested in you. Focus on exploring that and see where it leads.

I get tongue-tied to testify

Dear Joan,

I have been saved for over a year now and I have yet to share a testimony in church. Whenever it's testimony service, I think about giving mine, but I refrain. The last time I tried to give a testimony, I stuttered so much I went to sit back down embarrassed and feeling like an idiot.

Joan, God has done a lot for me, but to tell people that, I just don't know how to get the words out. Please, what can I do to be bolder?

Dear G.H.,

Believe it or not, you are not the only one who is timid when it comes on to facing a church full of people and testifying. Forget about facing the big crowd right now. Why don't you start off by sharing with a co-worker, a friend, or even your neighbour. Try it one-on-one first and build up your confidence.

The more you reach out to others, the better you will feel about facing a larger audience. Don't beat up on yourself too much. The self-inflicted pressure is making you self-conscious. When that happens, then nervousness sets in.

Testimony doesn't always have to be given in church. It will have the same effect or even more to a soul who really needs affirmation of what God can do.

n Do you have an issue in the Church and need guidance? Send questions to familyandreligion@gleanerjm.com.