Fri | Mar 23, 2018

Faith Counsellor

Published:Saturday | January 2, 2016 | 12:00 AM- JH
Holy Bible

Dear Joan,

I am now in my early 50s and I am going through menopause. I used to enjoy making love to my husband, but these days, I just can't stand for him to touch me. I have no sexual desire and it irritates me when he keeps pressuring me for sex. I ask him if that's all our relationship is based on and he said I am being unreasonable, but I think he is the one who wants too much.

Before, I never held out on him. I was always willing even when I wasn't totally in the mood. So why can't he be understanding now and give me a break? He keeps grumbling that it's actions like mine that drive men to cheat. I told him that if he does that, he can keep walking and I mean it!

Joan, what can I do to make him see reason?

Dear JH,

I don't think your husband is the one who needs to see reason. I think you need to be a little more understanding where his needs are concerned. As his wife, you have a duty to satisfy your husband. I totally understand your not having any desire for sex. Going through menopause will do that to you. But you need to at least meet your husband halfway. 'Locking shop' totally on him is not good. Have a heart to heart, tell him the changes you are going through and strike a deal with him on the number of times you make love. You should be happy he is still attracted to you and coming to you for his satisfaction. The more you keep denying him, the more vulnerable he will be to someone out there who has no inhibition in giving him what he wants; and believe me, they are very aggressive about it, too.

Now is the time to try new things to see just what will make the act more exciting for you.


Why do I have to be baptised?

Dear Joan,

I recently gave my life to the Lord and I am enjoying the journey. I have been attending church for almost four months now and my pastor tells me it's time I consider making a full commitment by getting baptised.

I thought I had already fully committed my life to the Lord. What does he mean by "a full commitment". I held nothing back when I said yes to the journey.

To tell the truth I am not too much into baptism. I don't see the need for it. Baptism isn't what's saving me, because if I die now, I would still be a Christian, right?

He said it's required. Is it really?

Dear Curious,

Congratulations on the best decision of your life. Turning your back on sin and accepting Christ as your Lord and Saviour is a good move. I pray that God continues to guide you in your walk.

To answer your question, let me first explain what 'baptism' signifies - "it is an outward evidence of an inward conviction".

Simply put, you are now telling the world that you have embraced a new lifestyle; you have chosen to follow Christ. Remember, Jesus had no sins, yet he allowed John the Baptist to baptise Him. He set the example and you should follow his examples all the way - including allowing your pastor to baptise you.

While baptism doesn't 'save' you, it is mentioned in the Bible that it is the natural progression to those who have been saved. "Go ye, therefore, and teach all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost." - Matthew 28:19