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Ignore the in-laws...Cleave to your partner

Published:Saturday | January 23, 2016 | 1:00 AMShanique Samuels

MAY PEN, Clarendon:

IT IS not always easy to get along with in-laws, especially if both persons are from two contrasting family backgrounds or socio-economic classes. It is also highly unlikely that every family member will accept their relative's choice of a spouse in all cases.

You should, however, not allow that to be a deterrent to your happiness or hinder the decision you will make regarding the path you will take to get there.

Marrying into a family where the in-laws don't accept you can sometimes be a challenge, but Pastor Nigel Walker of the May Pen Wesleyan Holiness Church has sound advice.

"If you love the person and want the person to be with you for life, it's your decision. You are mature enough to make this decision on your own, so you go ahead. Although it may be a situation where the family is expecting you to make a wise decision, it is still ultimately your choice and you will have to live with it for the rest of your life."

He also explained to Family and Religion that some persons may have power over individual members because they may be sustaining the family, and so, if a relative makes a decision that is not in their favour, they will try to influence it to suit their preference.

"If you are old enough, go ahead and make the decision. Don't allow yourself to be stressed out because of the situation because it will be difficult to make them understand after they make up their minds. Even though you cannot live your life to please everybody, you can, at least, try not to offend everybody. Just be mindful that it's your decision and you are going to live with it for the rest of your life."

Evangelist Carlton Daley, founder of the Special Effects Ministries, believes that love covers a multiplicity of sins (1 Peter 4 verse 8). "If you love the person, you would not allow the family to be in your marriage that much," he posited.

"You must learn to leave and then cleave as, according to St Matthew 19: 5-6: "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife: and the twain shall be one flesh. Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder."

He added: "It is not healthy for a relationship to have a third party always talking and making an input, especially if he or she is always negative and wicked. It will rip the relationship apart. A family member doesn't have the right to dictate and dominate a marriage," said Daley.

familyandreligion@gleanerjm.com