Tue | Jul 17, 2018

My wife wants oral sex

Published:Saturday | February 6, 2016 | 12:00 AM

My wife wants oral sex

Dear Joan,

I have been married for more than 10 years and to tell the truth I thought everything was just great when it comes on to our sex life. I am not a freak, and I do not refrain from trying to please my wife in every way. By the sounds she makes, I would say that she has been enjoying whatever I have been doing to her.

For the past few weeks, she has been giving hints about wanting to try new things.

I finally asked her what she felt she is missing out on and she said she hears her girlfriends talking about what their husbands are doing and how much they enjoy it. She wants me to practice cunnilingus.

I must confess that I have never done that in my life and I feel very uncomfortable about it. I told her I am not ready to try that yet and she is making a big deal out of it. I have not asked for anything like that myself, so I don't see why she is so wrapped up about this one particular area.

And don't her friends have anything better to do than to be sitting around discussing what their men are doing to them?

- H.N.

Dear H.N.,

Don't be naive, women are not the only ones who sit around and discuss their bedroom activities. If you are honest, you will admit that men do it, too. You are only peeved at this salacious past time because it has brought about some yearnings in your wife that you are not willing to fulfill.

Regarding your reluctance to give into your wife's request, you and her have to work that out. I know a lot of couples find pleasure in doing that, whether you will be one of those, I don't know, only you can determine it. Have a heart to heart with your wife, talk to her, see if it is really all that important to her. Hear what she has to say and I do hope you both can find a good middle ground.


The Holy Spirit and power

Dear Joan,

I was in church the other day enjoying the message on living right for God. However, the preacher said something that has me thinking. He said unless we are filled with the Holy Spirit, with the evidence of speaking in tongues, then we don't have a solid defence. According to him, the Holy Spirit gives us the power to live a good life and helps us not to sin.

I do not speak in tongues, in fact, I don't think I am 'filled with' the Holy Spirit - at least the experience he is talking about. So does that mean I can't live a good life for God without it?

- L.M.

Dear L.M.,

I might come under fire for this, but I do think some preachers need to get back into the word of God. The minute you accept Christ as your Lord and Saviour you are already showing evidence of the Holy Spirit living in you. You can live a spirit-filled life without speaking in tongues. The Bible does not emphasise speaking in tongues in living a powerful life for Christ. It speaks about 'denying yourself and taking up the cross daily'.

To be saved, all you have to do is confess Christ as your Lord and Saviour. I have witnessed a lot of people who claim to speak in tongues and are uncontrollable gossips and doing all manner of other unholy stuff, so where is the 'power' to prevent all this? The only thing you need to live a victorious life can be found in Philippians 1 vs 13: "I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength."


n Do you have an issue in the Church and need guidance? Send questions to familyandreligion@gleanerjm.com.