Mon | Sep 24, 2018

Long distance affair tempting me to cheat

Published:Saturday | February 27, 2016 | 12:00 AM- S.F.

Dear Joan,

I have been married for almost eight years and, during seven of those years, my husband and I have never been apart. I like spending every spare minute with him. We are each other's best friends. When things are rough, we go through it together and nothing really gets us down. I like the fact also that we are both Christians. We got married early because we decided we didn't want to sin by fornicating as we are each blessed with 'high nature'. I am not ashamed to admit that I enjoy making love and it's a good thing we both have strong appetites!

The trouble is he got an opportunity to work abroad for two years and, right now, I am struggling with my sexual emotions as I am burning for some action. I am even fantasising about a brother in church! What can I do to get rid of these feelings, I can't even let my husband know I am suffering like this.


Dear S.F.,

You will have to put your body under subjection. You say you have a great marriage and, trust me, if you allow your raging hormones to take control so that you end up cheating, you will regret it for sure.

Spend more time with friends, stay away from romance books and shows for the time being until your husband returns. Use this opportunity to be more involved in church. You will have less time to be thinking about sex.

Long distance doesn't have to be so hard. Be creative! In this modern age where you have all kinds of video calling for free such as Skype, IMO, Facebook you name it, get sexy with your husband and let your imagination take you places that might fulfil you!



Friend upset with me because I won't watch her man

Dear Joan,

My best friend is upset with me and there is nothing I can do to let her know that I have her best interest at heart.

We both attend the same church and sometimes she invites me over to have dinner with her and her husband. I like them both, they are great to be around.

What caused this rift in our friendship is that a mutual friend of ours saw her husband and another woman talking. At the time the mutual friend commented that she didn't like how they looked so close and assumed that something must be going on. I told her just because he is talking to her doesn't mean there is any 'hanky-panky' involved.

Well, she went and told my friend about the incident and completely blowing it out of proportion even going as far as to accuse the husband of things we are not even sure about. To add insult to injury, she told my friend to ask me because I saw them together too.

My friend came to me and asked me about the incident and was upset saying I was hiding things from her. I told her I have nothing to tell her as there is no proof anything going on and I couldn't in all faith tell her that.

She said I was making up for her husband and may I have secret crush on him. That hurt Joan. At this point, I don't even know if I want to repair the friendship.

- U.T.

Dear U.T.,

You are not the one your friend should be upset with. It seems to be that she doesn't have a lot of faith in her husband. If the mutual friend carried news and told her that, she could have asked her husband about it instead of accusing you. I totally agree with you, it is best to stay out of people's marital affairs. Sadly a lot of relationships are destroyed before of outside interference. It could easily be an innocent conversation and because of meddling, even your friendship has been affected.

Encourage your friend to talk to her husband and find out if there were any other issues why she is so willing to take someone else's word instead of exercising some faith in her husband.

I pray you two can get back to that place where you were before.

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