Wed | Nov 14, 2018

I miss my husband

Published:Tuesday | March 1, 2016 | 12:00 AM

Q: It has been more than 13 years since my husband died and I am not over him. He was a good husband. He paid the bills and baked for the children. We were going to celebrate his birthday and there was a motor vehicular accident. He died and I survived. The children were not in the car. The children have now left the nest and are doing well with their careers and with family. There is someone who is interested in me, but I have no desire for anyone else. It would appear that I am ungrateful to my late husband to start a new relationship and to get married again. The children know of this gentleman who is interested in me and they approve of him. I think that they want to see me go out again and be my usual self, but it is hard. What should I do?

A: The death of a spouse is one of the most stressful experiences one can have. A tragic death only doubles the stress. You might be feeling guilty that he died in the accident and you are still alive. You may wonder why he was not spared since he was such a caring and loving husband. You need to understand that there is a reason for everything and your life was spared to fulfil your purpose. He has done a good job as husband and father. You need to focus on being the best you can be.

Marrying again is not a sign of ungratefulness to your deceased husband, but in a way, it is affirming that marriage has been good to you. You liked the marriage to your husband so much that you would do it again.