Secrets to the Hibbert’s happy home
Have you ever heard the saying 'looking far away but the one you need to be looking for is right under your nose'? Aleshia Ramharrack-Hibbert might not have heard this statement, but she certainly experienced it when a man she had met at church and called friend for years, Du-Roy Hibbert, ended up being the love of her life. They were so close it was hard to convince others they weren't dating and are still very much confused up to this day as to the (date of) official beginning of their dating season.
"We were friends before we became lovers. We went out as friends, we went on church trips, we went to gospel concerts, family functions. Basically, we went almost everywhere together before we started dating; we always looked out for each other. Du-Roy would have my back and I would have his."
Even though the thought lingered that something could possibly evolve between them, neither said a word, however, their actions spoke loudly.
"For me, there was something special about him. He was no ordinary friend: he was just different, he was so loving, he was always interested in me and what I had to do. He was always encouraging and motivating me. He would make sacrifices for me at times and it was just awesome. After being friends for a number of years, we believe we became attracted to each other. I remembered he told me that he loved me and I was surprised, but secretly, in the back of my mind, I knew I had feelings for him."
According to Aleshia, after introducing Du-Roy to a colleague at a staff function as her husband, she had taken the friendship more seriously and she knew her life would change significantly.
Du-Roy, an electrician /maintenance technician and Aleshia an internal auditor, were attracted to each other for several reasons. Amid the sex appeal for one and the captivating beauty for another, the personalities ruled.
"Although there was and (still) is physical attraction, I believe it's a mix of qualities within her. I was captivated by her inner beauty and humility. She was not proud or (acted as if she was) better than anyone," he beamed.
"Du-Roy is a worshipper, and apart from the fact that he is handsome, to me he was just SEXY. He has a walk that is to die for: I just could not get enough of it - it was a joy to see him walking towards me from a distance. Even now, sometimes I just stand and ask him to walk just to admire him, or while I am waiting on him in the car in the morning, I just admire him walking towards the car. He has some very unique qualities: he is an excellent listener, he is a loving individual, extremely caring and very reliable," Aleshia chimed.
As the two courted, marriage became a topic for discussion but it still came as a shock when Aleshia's 'Mr Right' got down on one knee.
"I was living in Mandeville, while he was living in Clarendon. I remember the day he came to visit me in Mandeville. When I got home in the afternoon, he was cooking dinner. I could not understand why on a weekday he would be cooking all this fancy food. At one point, before dinner was finally ready, I went in my room and sat on the bed. While sitting there, he came and sat beside me, held my hand and started talking, then he asked me to marry him.
On December 17, 2009, in the company of 150 guests, and an atmosphere painted yellow and blue, with the thrilling sounds from a saxophonist, the two became one.
"We vowed, 'Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee; for whither thou goest, I will go, and where thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God'. Those words have kept us. It is important to note, too, that long before we walked down the church aisle we exchanged our vows one beautiful moonlit night under the stars. It was a magical moment as we exchanged vows and danced to the tune of our own hearts..."
With six years into the institution of marriage, the couple shares their secrets to keeping the spark alive.
"...Going out on dates, concerts, trips, having movie nights at home, surprise lunch dates, vacations, doing fun stuff together (playing with pillows, playing card games), dressing up just for him - just how he likes, calling him or texting during the day, while I am at work if I am thinking of him I let him know exactly what my thoughts are."
Du-Roy added, "We have had our own challenges, but through it all, we have grown to love and appreciate each other more. As a couple, we are able to listen to each other and discuss our issues. We have realised that when both parties are in "heat" it is not the best time to speak, (but to) wait until you are calmer about an issue before you try and resolve it. Don't play the blame game, don't point fingers, and don't compare your spouse to another person. As Christians, we have come to the realisation that not every challenge that arises in a marriage is physical, some are spiritual: pray together and pray for each other. Forgive each other and, above all, love each other."
"Be careful of your own ego: it can destroy you and your marriage. It's not always the thing to do, but for a peaceful life, you wife is always correct. Compliment and commend her daily and vice versa."