Mon | Dec 17, 2018

I curse my husband in my mind, help!

Published:Saturday | March 12, 2016 | 12:00 AM

Dear Joan,

I am ashamed to admit that I constantly curse my husband in my mind. He does some stuff to annoy the heck out of me and if I should tell him some of what I am thinking about him in my mind, then I am sure it would be a big problem!

He is always on the phone with someone trying to solve their problems. I resent that as he doesn't seem to mind me slaving away, holding down two jobs to keep paying the bills, while he seems quite content staying at home and 'listening out' for a job. He cooks and does his share of house work, but it irks me when he can give advice to others and don't seem able to motivate himself to go out there and look for something. Am I unreasonable?


Dear J.M.,

It's a good thing you have limited your 'arguments' with your husband to your mind! However, you really should try and give him a break. He sounds like the type who encourages others.

Just think of the stress he takes off you when he cooks and does his share of the house work.

In spite of what you think, jobs are not as easy to come by. You say he should "go out there and look work". Have you asked him if he is networking with his friends and just waiting for a positive response? Just because he is home doesn't mean his ears isn't close to the ground waiting for the right break.

My dear, a lot of women with unemployed men would love a man who stays close to the home front, helping out with house work and isn't giving you too much of a headache.

I hope he gets a break soon, but do try to stop cursing the man in your mind because soon or later, those words will eventually be spoken.

- B.L.

I feel like giving up

Dear Joan,

It's not been a year since I surrendered my life to the Lord and already I feel like quitting! Honestly, when I was out in the world, going to parties and having fun, I didn't have a care in the world and everything came easy to me. I seemed to always have money, was never sick and on top of the world.

Honestly, I just started thinking about what would happen if I died suddenly without repenting and added to that, I lost a good friend who died in a car crash and that had me submitting my life cause I realised that could easily have been me.

I enjoy my relationship with the Lord, but lately I am getting discouraged. I lost my job, when I am not ill with the flu, it is something else, which sees me going to the doctor and on top of that, some folks want to mix me up by telling lies about me.

I don't understand why all of this is happening since I committed my life. I am wondering if I stop going to church my life will get back to normal.

- D.T.

Dear D.T.

Stay in the boat! The Christian life, despite what many think is not an easy one. We do have the assurance however, that God will be there for us every step of the way. If ever there is a time for you to exercise your faith, it is now. Talk to your pastor about the way you feel and I am sure he will have encouraging words for you. The Bible did warn of "the fiery trials that will come your way and that you should not think it is something strange". You have something precious and the devil wants to make sure you let it go, hence the trials. Hold on, stay in prayerful contact with God and just ride out the storms of adversity ... it will get better.

Blessings and prayers.