Tue | Sep 18, 2018

Don't give with an ulterior motive!

Published:Wednesday | March 16, 2016 | 12:03 AM

Hello mi neighbour! Giving without loving is easy. To conceive of loving without giving is to border on the impossible. Giving without loving is to reach out with both hands - one to give and the other to receive in return, often immediately.

They call it giving with an ulterior motive. Like yuh neva know. The young woman who has five father-fled children at age 24 could explain this even better: five seemingly loving, sympathetic, well-intentioned, kind-hearted gentlemen (bearing gifts) came into her life at different points, presented these gifts, lingered awhile, got what they wanted, deposited children and went their merry way. Sad. Also foolish - that's even sadder.

Giving on the basis of loving is to give without expecting anything in return! They call it 'unconditional love.' This kind of love is fearless. Doesn't fear getting nothing in return. The unconditional lover doesn't require a public relations team with lights, camera and notebook to record every act of generosity. Whether or not media reporters are there, is neither here nor there. Not to make the headlines will not cause sleepless nights.

Seriously though, why do we give? Better yet, why don't we give? Giving is part of our being. It's our duty to give to others and vice versa. Failure to carry out this duty, due to selfishness and ignorance, not only lead to self-robbery, but we are indirectly contributing to criminality and aggravated robberies etc. And by no means am I supporting acts which have rightly placed many of our neighbours behind bars. Point is, to withhold generosity has many negative spinoffs! Research.

As we give, we should endeavour to discern between the greedy and the needy - and both have needs. The greedy need counselling and prayer to begin with. It takes love and much patience to handle many of these cases. As a matter of fact, the greedy may have a greater need for help than those considered to be the needy. Quite frankly, it could take even more resources to meet the real needs of the greedy. Truth be told, condemnation and rejection often worsen some situations? Food for thought for now.

Helping the needy can pose many challenges. Here's a question to be answered when trying to help them: how did they get there in the first place? The request of an unemployed man for a few sheets of zinc and some plywood to help box up a little dwelling for his family of six can make the sympathetic heart sick. But is that his real need? What are the hidden needs of the young mother who frequently begs money to buy food for baby, the domestic worker who always wants a bus fare and the constant pleas for help to purchase medication from the elderly sick? Do they know what their real needs are? Do they know what steps to take to change their circumstances and become less dependent? How can we really help them? Are we truly helping when we stop at their immediate requests? As we answer those questions, how can we help to meet the needs of those listed below? One way or another we need the help of one another.


Thanks for helping:


1. Yvonne, St James, for offering accommodation to a needy female neighbour.

2. Mrs Neil, St Andrew, for offering clothing and other goodies to neighbours.

3. Dawn, for offering shoes for children and adult females.

4. Annmarie, St Andrew for exceptional acts of neighbour-liness - feeding the hungry.







1. Sister Smith, Trelawny, asking for financial assistance to obtain her son's birth certificate. Process is very costly due to previous errors

2. Neighbour, unemployed - life is very difficult for her. Asking for help to start chicken rearing business.

3. Annie, asking for a computer - children need to complete their projects. Can't afford one.

4. Neighbour, St Catherine, asking neighbours for a small refrigerator to sell bag juice for a living.

5. Neighbour, unemployed and disabled - asking for surger.

n To help, please call

334-8165, 884-3866, 299-3412 or deposit to acct # 351 044 276. NCB (Bank routing #: JNCBJMKX) or send donations to Hello Neighbour, C/o 53 Half-Way Tree Road, Kingston 10. Email: