Fri | Aug 18, 2017

Not all that glitters is gold

Published:Wednesday | April 20, 2016 | 4:00 AM

 

Hello mi neighbour! How are you today? Not in a mood to answer questions? Well, happy that you are able to, and are reading this article today! Might just answer some of your questions. Neighbours who will not or cannot read usually have many unanswered questions. Here, I speak not only of academic laziness or illiteracy, but the refusal or inability to read the proverbial 'writings on the walls.' Every day, people go into all kinds of relationships and make commitments where the writings on the walls indicate danger, but yet they confidently jump in expecting everything to be hunky-dory.

Sometimes it pains the heart to witness the pain many neighbours undergo due to foolhardiness! 'The offer was attractive and the money sweet'. Therefore everything else must turn out right, not discerning that a nightmare was in the making. Oh me, oh my! When will we learn that 'all the glitters is not gold?' By nature, people are devious and dangerously selfish and oftentimes will stop at nothing to satisfy an inner craving. They will use whatever works: lies, deception, bribery ... you name it. 'Gold-plated' by an ounce of truth, they work wonders for the deceiver and create misery for the deceived.

The reason why so many neighbours, who are desirous and deserving of happiness especially in man-woman relationships, are so unhappy is that they have not be 'reading the writings'. Many of them which were very promising at the outset, often end up as a disaster. Usually, they begin with much love and fanfare. As the novelty wears off and the language barrier appears, two lives are torn apart. But as Sister Ann would say, 'The devil is a liar.' Truth is, the reason for the breakdown in marital relationships is that both parties don't quite understand the needs of each other. The female believes that as long as she is faithful and carries out her domestic chores diligently, all should be fine.

The gentleman who told me some time ago that he could not understand why his wife walked away from their big mansion to 'gane guh kotch up inna one likkle room in the ghetto' could be unfamiliar with what makes a happy marriage.

 

Marital success

 

Research has shown that for marital success, the following must be considered throughout the marriage.

1. A husband needs admiration, respect and constant reminder of his value, along with sexual fulfilment.

2. He likes a home where there is an atmosphere of peace and quiet, which lends itself to rest and rejuvenation.

3. The wife needs to understand that her outward attractiveness is as important as her inner beauty.

4. He wants her to see herself as a life companion with rapt interest in his affairs.

5. He wants her to become his best friend.

The wife wants her husband to be a spiritual leader a man of courage, conviction, commitment, compassion and character who takes the initiative in training the children, satisfy her need for affirmation, praise her for her personal attributes/qualities and commends her in the hearing of others. He must shower her with timely and generous displays of affection, talk with her at the level of feelings (heart to heart) and listen to her thoughts and concerns with a desire to understand, not to change her. He must not try to get ahead, while his children and spouse languish in neglect. Until next time, please help someone from list below:

Thanks for helping:

1. Sandra, Clarendon, for offering wheelchair to Ina.

2. Donetia, for offering clothing to Kenesha.

3. Silest for offering clothing to neighbours.

4. Annmarie, for offering food to neighbours.

Opportunities

for helping:

- Neighbour, unemployed single mother asking for food items children are hungry.

Sister Mary, St James, mother of twins asking for a crib and a bed queen-size mattress.

- Neighbour, unemployed mother of three asking neighbours for help to start a little business son has kidney problems.

• Joan, Trelawny, asking neighbours for a TV.

To help, please call

334-8165, 884-3866 or deposit to acct # 351 044 276 NCB. (Bank routing #: JNCBJMKX) or send donations to Hello Neighbour c/o 53 Half-Way-Tree Road, Kingston 10. email helloneighbour