Fri | Aug 17, 2018

Faith Counsellor: I am uncomfortable

Published:Saturday | April 30, 2016 | 12:00 AM

Dear Joan,

I don't wish to sound like an insecure wife, but I am really uncomfortable about a friendship my husband has formed with a woman I know.

I knew this woman for two years before her meeting my husband. We met at an annual function. She was civil to me; it was cordial. She never made any move to ask for my contacts and I didn't have a problem with that.

I took my husband with me the next time I went to this event and she met him. I was surprised to find out that after that one meeting, he had her number and they have been communicating a lot! She calls him about everything and he is always the great friend offering advice and all that.

I don't want to nag. He keeps sharing stuff but I am still feeling uncomfortable about it. I know I can't tell him to cut off the friendship, although that's exactly what I want to do! I am not saying he is cheating or anything like that, but I just don't like it!

- Uncomfortable

Dear Uncomfortable,

Oh, the stress we women put ourselves through! Honey, you are in the driver's seat, why are you borrowing problems? Let me ask you this, don't you have a male friend who reaches out to you sometimes for advice? I am not dismissing your 'uncomfortable feelings' but if your husband is sharing every little discussion with you, then I would say you have nothing to worry about on his part. Anyway, I think you should have a talk with him, let him know that you trust him, and share the way you feel. My guess is that he is going to reassure you in no uncertain terms that you have nothing to worry about.

If it makes you feel any better, don't drop your guard, keep 'monitoring' their movements until you feel safe enough to let it go.



My family hates my girlfriend


Dear Joan,

I have a sweet girlfriend who I absolutely love. The trouble is that I am the only one who shares that opinion as my family doesn't like her. We have a family reunion coming up and I told my parents I would be taking her along and they made quite a fuss!

The real problem is that they have it in their heads that I should be in a relationship with a woman they have 'hand-picked' for me. I don't like her. She is in a good job and dresses well but she is a snob. She is so full of herself it is unbelievable. My girlfriend attends my church. She comes from a humble background, has a heart for the Lord, and she is working. However she is not making anywhere near the money the girl my parents like is making.

I can't believe the people who are responsible for giving me life could be so vain.

I told them I am not coming to the reunion if my girlfriend can't come with me. But in my heart of hearts, I am hurt by all this. I don't want a rift in the family. What can I do?

- KL

Dear KL,

The only thing to do is let your parents see that you mean business! They can't choose for you and at the end of the day you will have to live with whomever you choose.

Have a talk with them, let them know you love and respect them, but that you also love your girlfriend. Tell them the last thing you want is for the family to be at odds. Trust me, most parents will push only as far as you allow them to. If they love you at all they will meet you halfway.

I pray everything works out all right.