Doctor's advice: My boyfriend acts strange when approaching orgasm
Q Hi there, Doc. I am an 18-year-old college girl and I do not know much about sex. I have, however, just started to enjoy having intercourse with my first boyfriend. Most of the time, it is good fun, but there is one thing that has made me fret. In fact, it has made me cry.
You see, Doc, when my guy gets real excited and seems to be approaching his orgasm, he does something very strange. At least, I think it is strange.
What he does is to put his hand into my mouth, sort of forcing it in. I do not like this. It kind of chokes me. I keep 'gagging' and retching. On one occasion, I actually threw up, Doc!
Why does he want to do this? Last week, I asked him and he just shrugged his shoulders and said 'everybody does that'.
But I asked around among my friends and they all said that their boyfriends do NOT do this at all. They were quite scared by what I told them
So what is going on, Doctor?
A: I find this story quite worrying. Almost certainly, what has happened is that this young man has been watching porn. In a minority of blue movies, the male actor does this peculiar trick of sticking his fingers into the girl's mouth. The result of this is:
- she can hardly breathe;
- she looks like she is choking;
- she seems to be about to vomit.
Heaven knows why anyone would want to go in for this foolish stunt during sex. It creates no pleasure for the female, and I do not think that the average male would enjoy it either.
But your new boyfriend has somehow got the idea that 'everybody does this'. Well, they DON'T!
This is an unpleasant and potentially dangerous habit that he has acquired. I strongly suggest that you tell him you don't want him to do it ever again!
If he won't agree. I advise that you dump him and, in due course, find yourself a normal boyfriend.
Q I am male (18). Earlier this week, I had a disastrous experience.
Doc, I caught my foreskin in my trouser's zip while I was pulling it up. It hurt a lot. It also bled a great deal. I can tell you, I was real frightened, especially when it got stuck. I could not move it.
I did not want to go to a doctor, so I just covered it up with some cotton wool and then went home. It was several hours before I managed to unstick the zip. I had a bad night's sleep because of the pain.
Today, things seem to be quite a lot better. I have stopped bleeding, but there's a wide sort of crusty gash in the skin. It leaks fluid a bit.
What should I do, and will my sex life be ruined?
A: Poor old you! Since the time when pant manufacturers started putting zips in their garments, which was around 60 years ago, there have been thousands of injuries like yours. Fortunately, everything has worked out OK for most of the victims, though some of them have had to do a circumcision operation to tidy things up.
In your case, you really MUST go to a doctor's office or a hospital in the next couple of days. Do not be afraid. They will not do anything awful to you! They will probably just clean it with antiseptic and then see if you need any stitches. With a bit of luck, you won't have to have any.
As far as your sex life is concerned, I am sure it will be OK - provided that you consult the doctors and take their advice. But please DON'T try to have any sex until everything is healed up. Don't even masturbate.
Q Hello, Doc. I have met a sexy new guy. He doesn't believe in contraceptives, so he wants to have 'bareback' sex with me. He says that he is an expert in 'pulling out' just in time.
Can I believe him? I know that that he has a child by a girl living near Annotto Bay.
A: Hmmm ... I wonder if he 'pulled out' expertly with the girl in St Mary?
Look, this pulling out practice is wildly unreliable. About all I can say for it is that it is better than nothing, but couples who use it are very liable to have unintended pickneys.
I don't know why he doesn't believe in contraceptives, but I guess that means he doesn't like condoms. If that is the case, and if you wish to continue your relationship with this guy, then I am afraid that you are going to have to take the responsibility for preventing conception. So I advise you to go on the Pill or the Mini-Pill, or try the Shot, or maybe have an IUD (coil) fitted. I wish you luck.
Q Doc, with six of my male colleagues, I have arranged to go to a sort of 'gang bang' party in the Corporate Area.
Is there anything I should be careful of?
A: Yes, you should beware of the entire thing. A 'gang bang' is a great place to pick up a sexually-transmitted infection and even possibly HIV.
Also, depending on where this 'party' is, there is the possibility of getting robbed. You have been warned.
- Email questions to Doc at
firstname.lastname@example.org and read more in the 'Outlook Magazine' tomorrow.