Tue | Jul 17, 2018

Faith Counsellor | I can't stand my husband's son

Published:Saturday | May 14, 2016 | 12:02 AM

Dear Joan,

I have been married for more than two years now and everything was alright until my husband's babymother decided she had enough of raising his son.

She just dropped him off at the house and told him that it was 'his turn' to make sacrifices for him. His son, by the way, is 15 years old. When he came to live with us, I must admit that I was determined to be a good stepmother to him. I thought he got a raw deal and I wanted to make up for it. But, to my surprise, the boy is insolent. He has no manners and he has no respect for authority. He acts all sweet and nice when his father is around, but when his father is not around, he smokes, lets me know that I can't tell him what to do and pretty much tells me that his father won't believe a word I say. I did try to tell my husband the truth and he told me I should try and get along with his son.

What can I do? I am fed up and I can't stand him!

- Fed Up

Dear Fed Up,

I can't believe in this world of technology you are struggling to find proof to show your husband that his son is not the perfect angel he thinks he is.

You know, most of these phones can record audio and video. In fact, he doesn't even have to know that he is being monitored like that! I am sure your husband will believe the evidence of his own ears. Anyway, before you reach that stage, I think you should try reaching out to him. Let him know you want the relationship to work as he is important to your husband. Assure him that, like his father, you want to be there for him. If that fails, then it is time to get his father involved.



My daughter thinks I am being too hard on her


Dear Joan,

Greetings! I am having a problem that I am hoping you can help me with. These days, I just can't see eye to eye with my 14-year-old daughter. Everything I do seems to annoy her. She has even accused me of being too hard on her. She claims I don't want her to have any fun and that she wished I was more like other mothers who allow their children to do whatever they want.

Joan, she is in second form and she is doing really well in her schoolwork, and I think this is as a direct result of me insisting that she spends quality time with her books. If it were left up to her, she would be going to parties and movies and doing everything but paying attention to her schoolwork.

I honestly don't know how else to get through to her. Do you think I am being too hard on her?

- J.H.

Dear J.H.,

We need more mothers like you around. Then, we would not be having such a large problem with discipline and the moral decay of our young people.

Don't despair. I am sure you are not the only mother being faced with the 'rebellious teen' syndrome. Your daughter is just testing the waters to see how far she can push you. Don't allow guilt to make you stop being a wonderful mother.

Have a heart-to-heart with your daughter and let her know how much you love and care for her. Tell her of the dangers out there and that you are shielding her from them.

If your daughter is as smart as you say she is, I am sure you will get her to see reason.