Doctor's Advice | Is she normal, Doc?
Q Doc, I guess I have just finished an affair, with a considerably older woman. She is 24, I think, so she was a lot more sexually experienced than me. I do not know much about sex, except what I have seen on porn.
I brought the relationship to a close because I began to feel that she was rather 'kinky', Doctor, but I am not sure if I am right.
What concerned me was this. Whenever I was having sex with her, and getting near to my orgasm, I would notice that she might put her hand down on to the lower part of her belly and begin rubbing herself furiously.
This struck me as rather strange. I did not like it. What do you think, Doc?
A As you say, you do not really have much knowledge of sex away from watching porn, which is a notorious source of misinformation for young people.
But I am slightly surprised that you have not seen that particular piece of female behaviour in porn movies. I believe that the 'blue movie' actresses do it quite often.
Indeed, in real life, it is pretty common. Many women rub their clitorises during sex, mainly to ensure that they reach a climax.
There is nothing kinky about this. It is just a thing that many experienced ladies do.
Sometimes, females do that particular action when the male is not providing sufficient stimulus to the clitoris, and some women say that they just like being in control of their own bodies.
Anyway, your affair with this older lady has probably reached its end. I hope you parted on friendly terms.
I don't know how old you are, but, presumably, you will soon be looking for a girlfriend who is more your own age. Please try not be too judgemental of what she does in bed. Take great care not to get her pregnant.
Q As a female of 19 years , I feel it is time I got myself some contraception. I do have a boyfriend, Doc, but he is not too good at using the condom. He keeps getting it wrong.
There are three methods that I like the idea of. They are the Pill, the Coil, and the Shot. Which of these is the most effective percentage-wise in preventing fertilisation?
A One often sees percentage figures quoted for these methods, but it's important to realise that in the real world, the effectiveness of contraceptive methods depends to some extent on how good the person is at using them.
Thus, the effectiveness of the Pill is very nearly 100 per cent if the woman remembers to take the tablets properly.
But if she keeps forgetting them, then the efficiency of her pill can drop to 90 per cent or even worse. In fact, most pill failures are caused by someone failing to take the tablet on time.
With the Coil (the IUD), the situation is rather different. Once it's in, it's in. And you don't have to do anything except to check the threads occasionally with your fingertip, and also turn up at the clinic or doctor's office for check-ups. The effectiveness of the Coil is generally reckoned to be around 97 per cent to 98 per cent.
The situation with the Jab (the Shot) is rather similar. Once it is in your body, then it is in for the next 12 weeks or so, and you don't have to do anything about it - except to attend the doctor's consulting room before the 12 weeks are up.
So its effectiveness is very nearly 100 per cent - provided that you get the next jab done on time.
Finally, I am sorry to hear that your boyfriend isn't managing too well with the condom. Some friendly advice from a doctor, nurse or youth counsellor would probably help him.
Q Doc, my girlfriend and I were in bed together and I 'came' over her breasts. We definitely did not have intercourse. In fact, she was wearing her pants.
Is there any chance of pregnancy?
A I am tempted to reply: 'Are you joking, young man?' But I am aware that there are still some teenagers who think that it might be possible to get pregnant through 'breast sex'.
So let's be quite clear about this. It is totally impossible to get a girl pregnant by ejaculating over her breasts. You and your girlfriend can quit fretting.
Q My doctor wants me to have an IUD. What side effects could I expect, Doc?
A The most common one is heavier or longer menses, but not everyone gets those symptoms.
You might also notice more painful periods. But again, that may not happen. Plenty of young women get on just fine with the IUD.
Also, there is a slightly increased risk of infection during the first month after having an IUD inserted -particularly if you have more than one partner.
Kindly note that what I have said above applies to the ordinary IUD (the coil). The hormone-loaded device (the IUS) is a different thing, and I shall return to it later.
Q My new girlfriend has an odd little dark lump located just below her right breast.
I did not like the look of it, so I persuaded her to go to the doctor. He had a quick glance and said that it was an extra nipple.
But is that really possible, Doctor?
A Yes, very possible. Many girls (and some boys) have a small bump on the chest that is actually caused from the development of the beginnings of a third nipple while the person was in the womb.
This is nothing to fret about. Usually, the best course is to leave the little lump alone, but if it is large or unsightly, it's quite easy for a surgeon (preferably a plastic surgeon) to remove it.
Q I have been prescribed the mini-pill. My doctor told me that I should take it at the same time every day, but how strictly do I have to observe this, Doctor?
A Well, the mini-pill ('progestin-only pill,' or 'progestogen-only pill,' or 'POP') is quite different from the 'ordinary' Pill. It's kind of milder, so you do need to take it very regularly, at a 'rate' of one every 24 hours.
But you don't have to time it to the exact minute. Just make sure that you don't ever get more than around two hours late. A number of women make a routine of taking it just before they go to sleep at night.
Q Recently, I was lucky enough to go to bed with an American lady who taught me quite a bit about sex.
When we parted, she said to me: "Honey, you should try edging." But Doc, I do not know what 'edging' is. Any ideas?
A Yes. Edging is a United States term. It means controlling the male orgasm. The idea is that you go almost as far as a climax, but you then 'calm down' for a few minutes before resuming thrusting.
There are supposed to be two benefits:
- With luck, your final orgasm may be a little more intense for you;
- More important, your partner will have much more time to get aroused and, therefore, to have an orgasm.
So it is certainly worth giving 'edging' a try, as your US girlfriend suggested.
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