Sun | Jan 21, 2018

Faith Counsellor | My mother is dead and I found out a secret. Should I talk?

Published:Saturday | June 11, 2016 | 12:00 AM

Dear Joan,

It is with a sense of great disappointment and disillusion that I am writing you. My mother died about two years ago, but I recently found out a shocking secret that has rocked my world. The worst part about it is that I don't know how to tell my sister the truth. I recently found out that my sister and I do not share the same father.

Her brother by the man my mother cheated on my father with told me the truth that she is his sister. His father died long before my mother. I was upset and asked him why he is spreading such lies. I was further taken aback when my uncle who was present admitted that it is the truth. He said he always knew, but would never betray his sister. I am so happy my father doesn't know because I think he even prefers that sister to me.

Should I tell my sister the truth? This secret is now eating me alive.

- D.P.

Dear D.P.,

I can imagine the way you are feeling right now. This is a difficult situation and if you reveal the secret to your sister, both her and your father will be hurt terribly.

I honestly don't know what to tell you in this situation, but I can only tell you what I would do. I don't think I would be quick to share this secret. The truth is your mother and the father in question is no longer alive, if your uncle sat on this secret for so long, I think you should do the same.

If and when that time comes, then your uncle who knows more about the situation than you do, can have a gentle talk with her, but for now, allow your father to enjoy the relationship with the daughter he has accepted as his all her life.


Do I have the Holy Spirit or not?


Dear Joan,

I am a young believer and I am confused about all this talk of the Holy Spirit. I enjoy praise and worship, there are times I feel so overwhelmed by God's goodness in my life that tears just come to my eyes.

I am told that I need the Holy Spirit to live a victorious life. I think I am under the influence of the spirit, but my pastor and my church brethren tell me that the only 'proof' I have that I have the Holy Spirit is when I speak in tongues.

Joan, I need a second opinion, is that true, do I have to speak in tongues to prove I have the Holy Spirit?

- L.M.,

Dear L.M.,

My dear, the minute you decided to accept the Lord as your Saviour is proof that the Holy Spirit is already at work in your life. Read 1 Corinthians 12 and you will see that there are diversities of gifts and not everyone will be speaking in tongues.

The Holy Spirit is the One who moves you to worship and that sense of closeness you get are all a manifestation of the Spirit's work in you.

Honestly, at the risk of coming under fire, I will say that a lot of people speaking in tongues are just uttering gibberish. They are so pressured about 'speaking in tongues' that some say the first thing that comes to their minds.

The evidence is there, being filled with the Spirit means a radical change in your lifestyle and action. This means - gossipping, backbiting and a lot of other negative traits should be under the Spirit's control.

Live your life and continue to read the word of God. Allow His Spirit to minister to you and stop pressuring yourself about speaking in tongues.


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