Fri | Aug 18, 2017

Age is just a number!

Published:Saturday | July 2, 2016 | 7:00 AMCecelia Campbell Livingston

So baby, don't you worry about growing older

Those young girls ain't got nothin' on you

Cause it takes some livin', to get good at givin'

And givin' love is just where you could teach them a thing or two

- Older Women by Ronnie McDowell

Some women - Christians or not - are finding it increasingly difficult to meet the man of their dreams. For many of them, they miss out on the opportunity because they have a 'set' person in mind.

For some, the man needs to be in a particular job or class, but for others, he has to have certain values, but one main criterion which locks out many older women is the age factor.

Although there are numerous songs and quotes advocating that 'age is just a number', many mature women are timid to 'put themselves on the market' and risk merging their lives with a younger partner.

Terms like 'cougar' and 'sugar mama' and the harsher expression, 'robbing the cradle', might prove to be a big turn off.

It doesn't help either that some of the genuine younger men are intimidated or are afraid to express an interest in these women who appear too sophisticated for them.

The situation is just as pressing in Christendom, as older single Christian women do not seem enthusiastic about 'borrowing trouble'. Many, instead of taking the chance, make use of the well-known Karyn White song, I'd Rather Be Alone, wrongfully assuming that such a hook-up is destined for heartache and unhappiness.

Family and Religion reached out to Pastor Christopher Murray of the United Deliverance Centre Ministries International, who said, biblically, there are no rules that say an older woman cannot be with a younger man or vice versa.

"Culturally, it is not seen as the norm, but that seems to be changing," he points out.

 

Biological issue

 

According to Murray, there are possible issues in every type of relationship, but the older-younger has a major biological issue, which is the difference in sex drive, as the woman gets older.

"Her libido decreases (in some cases), and this can cause distress to the younger man," he said.

Exploring other problems that may arise in this type of union, he said the factor of childbearing should also be considered as it could become an issue.

"The woman reaches a certain age and most men want to get children of their own, which may cause them to seek out a younger woman," he said.

Murray also addressed the insecurity some mature women face that will not see them embracing such a union, thinking the men are just looking for 'sugar mamas'. While admitting that in some of the cases this is true, Murray said not all younger men have this mindset.

"There are a few younger men who genuinely prefer the stability and maturity of an older woman," he said.

Another factor which has given rise to younger men finding mature women more appealing is that many of them are now looking better. With many women now health conscious and making use of the gym, their shapely bodies and youthful appearances are belying their real ages.

It helps, too, that older women who have already accomplished all their goals are now seeking a 'comfortable' relationships where they can relax, have a companion, and dwell in peace. Their main focus is not on the partner's bank account - which is a driving factor in many young women seeking to settle down.

Younger men find this less pressuring, making the older woman even more appealing.

Summing up the possible union, Murray said, at the end of the day, the ultimate goal of those entering this kind of relationship is satisfaction.

As he puts it, "Everyone goes into a relationship for a reason and we all have different needs. If both persons' needs are met and they have mutual understanding of their roles in the relationship, who is to say they are wrong? In this case, I would say, 'to each his own'."

familyandreligion@gleanerjm.com