Fri | Aug 18, 2017

10 mistakes married couples make

Published:Saturday | July 23, 2016 | 7:00 AM

 

Family is the first line of government in any society and needs to be properly managed and maintained. When we get marriages to function properly, then other institutions will function better. Sadly, the institute of marriage is under serious attack, and the following are things that married couples should avoid doing.

 

ENTERTAINING DIVISION IN THE VISION

 

A married couple should not have two different visions and sets of goals, especially as it relates to the family unit. They are one. So when God says 'leave and cleave' it means that each must put aside anything that would cause them to function as two independent units and embrace what would cause or allow them to function as one strong unit - in sync, fighting for one goal and accomplishing a single purpose for the family unit.

 

GIVING CONTROL OF THE MARRIAGE TO RELATIVES AND FRIENDS

 

Handing over control of your marriage and decision-making that takes place within it, to family members and friends can cause divorce. When it is time for decision-making at any level within your marriage, you and your spouse should work it out through communication and prayer. If that fails, then seek counselling from qualified persons who also have the best interest of your marriage at heart.

 

ALLOWING SOCIAL NETWORKS  TO STEAL QUALITY TIME

 

Do not allow social networks/media to rob you of valuable quality time with your spouse and your family. Hiding passwords from each other; allowing 'ex-friends/ex-partners' to give you counsel about your marriage; posting pictures of past relationships with other friends commenting, exposes your family to verbal attacks and can have grave consequences for your marriage and family life.

 

DELIBERATELY DEPRIVING EACH OTHER OF SEX

This is never to be a weapon in your marriage. The Bible is clear on it in I Corinthians 7: 1 - 5 and Ephesians 5: 22 - 24. Sex is a part of the covenant ascribed by God to husband and wife.

 

NAGGING

 

Proverbs 21: 19. Nagging turns a person off and is an enemy to zeal and enthusiasm. It is defiling. While nagging can be found on both sides, women are often found to be more guilty. Nagging has the potential to drive a husband into the arms of another. Nagging does not solve anything, prayer and fasting do!

 

POOR COMMUNICATION

 

A lack of communication is the number one reason for marriage break-ups. Communication is not simply talking with each other, it involves attitudes, mannerisms, body language and even habits. Non-communication is also a form of communication, but at its poorest level. Some spouses make decisions for the family but do not communicate it to the other.

 

EXCLUDING GOD FROM YOUR MARRIAGE AND FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

 

Never make the mistake that society has made, by excluding God from your family unit. God is to be first in your marriage and your family unit. Prayer and the word of God in decision-making must be the first priority. When problems arise, the word will guide you. A simple thing such as going to bed with unresolved problems can become disastrous. (I Peter 3: 7; Ephesians 4: 26)

 

UNFORGIVENESS AND NOT SPENDING ENOUGH TIME TOGETHER

 

Never bring past hurts into your marriage. Focus on the future and not the past. You have to make up your mind to let things of the past go. Spend time together. Marriage is about compromising and giving to and for each other.

 

ADULTERY AND NEGATIVE CRITICISM

 

Avoid adultery altogether! Never compare your marriage with others'. Avoid X-rated movies and pornography as stimulants for your marriage. Furthermore, negative criticism of each other must be avoided. Speak life to each other. Stay away from swing clubs and yoga.

 

NEGLECTING THE JOYS OF AN EXCITING SEX LIFE

 

Change your eating habits and set up a health plan for fitness. Be careful of personal trainers. Engage in healthy weight management together and embrace the use of natural remedies - herbs, fruits, vegetables and nuts - to help you maintain a healthy and exciting sex life. Get back to basics and enjoy the benefits of these foods that God created, including melons, lettuce, almonds, unsalted peanuts, walnuts, flax seeds, sesame seeds and pumpkin seeds. Invest in a good blender or extractor.

The family is under attack and it is time to fight back.